fucking gross mushroom

i was weeding the garden on Sunday morning, and i was going along pulling out little weeds, when i stopped abrubtly at the sight of this near my hand....




i didn't get out a ruler but i reckon it is around 12cm tall and wide. it is so creepy- i hate it! Josh wanted to step on it, but then his foot would probably get covered in mushroom goo, and start shrinking his body inch my inch, until he is a tiny mushroom dweller and has to live IN the shattered remains of the big creepy mushroom castle as punishment. I think he would probably adapt quickly to a new environment like that, he is pretty good that way. I can see him ruling the people and the bacteria as one united front, with health benefits and a good education. I would come and squirt them with a water bottle every now and again to help them prosper. If the mushroom castle got bigger than my knee, i would probably freak out and throw some sort of mini petrol explosive at it. Wow, i trailed off for a bit. Anyway the mushroom is still there in the back yard, i want to see how big it will get! But i will stick to my promise to destroy it once i get scared.