This Australian Life

Hey there readers. In tonight's instalment I'll be telling you some great stories, and bringing you some pictures direct from...you guessed it - my life. First up, my amazing January so far! For Christmas my dearest got me tickets to both David Sedaris and Ira Glass in their similarly named 'An evening with....' shows 1 week apart at the Athaneum here in Melbourne. Josh introduced me to This american life about a year ago or so, and I aint done ever looked back. Much like many other regular listeners or downloaders of the American radio show/podcast, I think Ira Glass (the host) is some kind of demi god. He ticks all the boxes of what I want to hear and is pretty much just a cool dude. It was on this show that I first heard of the author/humourist David Sedaris too. He was reading aloud an essay from one of his books and i was hooked in! His exaggeration technique is like a kajillion times more amazing than what i could ever dream up! 

So first up was the David Sedaris show! I had been reading his books and listening to him for a while and even starting to follow the career of his sister Amy... in a non-stalkerish way naturally. I could not believe i was going to see him in person, and I was nervous too as there was an opportunity to meet him after the show in the book signing!!! Now, I am not the smoothest of characters so I was already envisioning the ways I would embarrass myself. Plus I read that he chats to each person for a few minutes at the signing and then draws/writes something interesting in your book. One lady wrote that he signed her book something about diabetes thus the thinks he was insinuating she was fat. Now I really love DS, and I was thinking if he found fault in me I would have to ceremoniously burn all his books and pretend I'd never heard of  him to avoid the stab of pain that would come every time i saw one of the books laying around. The broken fan heart. Luckily he thought i was AWESSSSSSSSSSSSSSOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMEEEE!!!

Not even joking, Josh had a great idea of writing something in the book before giving it to him so I drew a pic of DS along with some other stuff and when he opened it he grinned and was like "WHO DID THIS?!!" and I fessed up (sorry, i have recently (and ironically) read a DOLLY mag.. omg, i'm OTT crazy atm) and he was like "That's fantastic, i love it etc etc.." so the 3 of us (me, the bf, and the housemate) stood there chatting to him, and he proceeded to tell us filthy filthy jokes!!!!!! It was amazing. He wrote in one of my books how much he loves my drawing, and made sure to tell me again as i left. Hoorah. Guess i can pick up another of his books to add to the collection now. He passed the test. the test of being worthy enough to keep a reader interested. Anyway that was a great night, and a few days later was Ira!!!!!!

We started the night with drinks and postulating what he'd talk about. 

They were cleverly concealing their giddy child-like glee... as was I. Actually i cant really conceal anything so i made a few strange noises and squeeks that happen at these times. Skipping ahead, Ira was also great! He was different to what I imagined (posture and body language-wise) but in a way I was glad to see a bit of the real Ira and realise he is just a dude. Just a normal down to earth dude who had no idea people in Australia loved him so much as he bowed time and time again at the end of his talk. He began his show in total darkness as the voice we all know and love filled the room. When the lights came on, the crowd went wild! One of his first questions as he grinned around the room was 'How do you guys even know who I am??' - funny. I think he has learned quite a lot from his visit and his eyes are opened a little about his fanbase. I was surprised to know that their staff only consists of 8 people. Working nutso hours and trying to pull stories from everywhere they can. So amazing.

Anyway, I also just got back from a little weekend road trip to Adelaide for my cousin's birthday! We took my mannequin 'Derryn' along for the ride and he had fun at the beach. People were a little taken aback, but in the end the police calmed everyone down and we got the head back.

At first i thought we wouldnt even make it, as I had been having car issues. I had no power, and sometimes couldnt get over 80km/hour. i also later found out both brake lights were out. The mechanic my mum took the car to (as my xmas present) couldnt fix the situation and didnt fix my brakelights before returning it. So i got my un-roadworthy car back and avoided driving it. I had it booked into Nissan for a detailed inspection and was prepared to fork out a few hundo (that i didnt have) for a solution. Then luckily my sicko brother did a little online research and found out that my model of car has this in-built safety mechanism thing that when both brakelights are out, the engine goes into safety mode or something. So $3 in light-globes later, the car ran perfectly again. I could not believe my luck!

In unrelated news... here is a zucchini that grew like crazy while i was interstate. I picked it today when i got up! It is the size of my shin.

Lately I have been doing a little cooking (of course) but not photographing much of my escapades... here's just one for you:

Also, I found this at my front door one night....

I opened the door looking for my cat late one night (yes i know, cats should be in-doors etc etc) and there is was, with the fairy attached to the top like in the pic. As you can see it is half eaten by snails and has obviously blown from someone's bin. In my mind though, some young girl has taken a liking to me from the few seconds each morning she sees me cross the yard to my car and has drawn and almost flawless picture of me. It is quite remarkable how alike we are really. Those dead eyes, the black boots. Amazing.

I've been getting a little arty too, I made a bunch of snowflakes for Xmas to add some christmas flayvaaaa to wrapping paper. these ones went on the wall :) 

Oh and this one... This is not a real person. This is a sacrificial scarecrow we made when Josh quit his job. We burned the uniform and badge and all in my back-yard. It was wild. And scary. And smoky. But mostly funny. Those bits on the ground are the arms. They fell with a dull thump. It's amazing what petrol and hay and leftover wrapping paper can do. Ok, i'm wrapping this up as I am getting way tired. Below is a picture of a gnome i bought from a country op-shop for $1. I thought my suburbian yard needed a little cliche to it. I love his childlike bearded face and cross leggedness.

I am yet to name him though. Any thoughts?

twilight and moths

Tonight is the night of nights my friends! My friend Maslin is hosting a twilight night! New Moon came out on DVD today and we will be watching it, along with a delicious dinner of lasagnaaaa. ("We're making Italiano for you, Bella") awesome!!! If i'm not mistaken, I think she and I are the only Team Edward peeps tonight. Everyone else appears to be in the stinky dog kennel that is team JACOB. i jest, i jest. Jacob's ok.

Anyway, I was thinking of bringing something funny along tonight so I googled twilight party and found this cool twilight party guide. jesus christ, a lot of thought went into that.

This gets me thinking about my birthday partayyyy this year. It's in June, and I will be turning 23. 23, wowza. I have lots of ideas floating around as I want a themed party this time. Pretty sure my last themed party was my 21st and it was Op-Shop Formal Dress. Was pretty funny! I think once I get some more definate ideas i'll do a post about it. Stay tuned for THAT!

Also I listened to another podcast from "The Moth" this morning, and it was great! It was an ex NYC cop called Steve Osborne telling one of his impeccably recalled stories from his 20 years of service in New York. He was this really funny, charismatic, wise-ass jester with a thick Brooklyn accent that just makes you smile. It seems as though he is a regulr, so I'd love to hear more of his stuff!

Cool artwork IMO. Check out the website for more info, it looks like quite a few celebrities have told stories for The Moth too! I got this from the website...

What is The Moth?

The Moth, a not-for-profit storytelling organization, was founded in New York in 1997 by poet and novelist George Dawes Green, who wanted to recreate in New York the feeling of sultry summer evenings on his native St. Simon's Island, Georgia, where he and a small circle of friends would gather to spin spellbinding tales on his friend Wanda's porch. After moving to New York, George missed the sense of connection he had felt sharing stories with his friends back home, and he decided to invite a few friends over to his New York apartment to tell and hear stories. Thus the first "Moth" evening took place in his living room. Word of these captivating story nights quickly spread, and The Moth moved to bigger venues in New York. Today, The Moth conducts eight ongoing programs and has brought more than 3,000 live stories to over 100,000 audience members.

Why "The Moth"?

The screen around Wanda's porch had a hole where moths would flutter in and get trapped in the light. Similarly, George and his friends found that the characters in their best stories would often find themselves drawn to some bright light—of adventure, ambition, knowledge—but then find themselves burned or trapped, leaving them with some essential conflict to face before the story could reach its conclusion. So George and his original group of storytellers called themselves "The Moths". George took the name with him to New York, where he hoped that New Yorkers, too, would find themselves drawn to storytelling as moths to a flame. They did. With no advertising, through sheer word of mouth, every show to date has sold out in 48 hours or less.

AWESOME! And you know what else is awesome? I am going to take pictures of this lovely night tonight and show you all in due time :D weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

x-ray cool

Again, the title is just because I don't have any posts beginning with X. Well, you wouldn't think it... but I still have lots to say!

Just pretend we are like cliche american teens in our baby pink skimpy PJ's, having a 3 hour conversation on our land-line phones. my phone looks like this:


and your phone looks like this:

We are laying on our stomachs on our lacy, pillow ladden beds with our legs waving around behind us, and in the back-ground you can see out of focus posters covering the walls. Is that Ryan Phillipe??

Anyway. Let's talk about the weird banging that is occuring on the wall next to me at work. On the other side of this wall is the building next door. I have a feeling it is a ground floor apartment but not sure. Here's what I DO know:
- It has a keypad glass sliding door as an entry point
- It looks more like a shop

- One time I walked past and the sliding door was open and it looked either like a tiny kitchen/lounge or a tiny bar like in Japan. This asian man was serving up bowls or rice from a rice cooker. Possible asian gang hideout?

- I found this poster stuck to the door, and I am now theorising that the asian man there is into S&M.

So myself and Kate (the girl who also saw the poster) think the banging is just the party still raging. I imagine there is one person left conscious, tied up against the wall and they are banging to alert our attention. We thought this was funny, and then shit became real when we heard this screaming from out in the alley/street. My boss climbed the stairs to look out of the window and said: "there's an old asian man screaming and running down the street!". Kate and I think that the gimp has finally escaped and is running for help. While we know that all of this is very unlikely, it is still funny to imagine.

You know what is also funny to imagine? Things that are happening in pictures that probably aren't.

Exhibit A) This is from hayden's facebook. Gettin' checked out from all angles huh? Look at that girl's finger in her mouth! Go Team Hayden!

Exhibit B) Hayden tells everyone that he is part of the Vegan Strength Movement (I'm going to label it a movement) but he actually isn't welcome because he is too small:

Hot damn, those are some large vegans! You know what else is large?? Uhh..hmm that analogy i tried to set up... and it doesn't work. But you know what's coooool? Josh's friend Jim told me about a podcast I might enjoy called "The Moth". Josh happened to have some, so he put 7 episodes on my iPod last night. I listened to 2 today on the train, and they were really amazing. It is similar to This American Life where people tell their story in relation to a theme. However, The Moth is recorded at like clubs or something, and the people get up on stage with no notes and freestyle their story as apposed to This American Life which is more like an interview or a studio recorded piece. I listened to Deborah Scaling Kiley tell her story "Lost at sea" in which she goes on a sailing trip with a bunch of others and it turns really bad. Really really bad. Think sharks and sea-madness and death. She told the story so well but that may be due to the fact that she now does public speaking about her books and experiences all the time. I also listened to Kira Salek tell her story "Bone Yard Stretch" about how she went solo backpacking around Africa when she was 20 and got herself into heaps of trouble and got taken into custody by African Government soldiers who planned to gang-rape her. I can only imagine my face while i was listening to this on the train.

Ok. One other thing has happened today. I have decided I like The Smiths. Haha. For a long time I found them utterly depressing, but I decided to listen to some on my iPod (not sure who put them there) and found the music and lyrics actually beautiful. Funny huh? Maybe because Maki is a huge fan and subliminally i hear him play it all the time and have become brainwashed into liking it? I don't think so.... but I like them. Maybe next time i'm on the toilet I'll pick up the Morrissey encyclopedia that is on the bookstand? hehe

Also i will be watching NEW MOON for the first time very sooon, i will have to go into this tomorrow!!

some news!

Firstly! A note on the word "news". What does it mean? Josh and I were having this conversation a few months ago. I thought it meant kind of "new information" which is why it makes it into the 'new'spaper. Get it? New stuff= the new's = news... anyway Josh thought perhaps it had something to do with North, East, West, South - as in covering what's going on all around. Well I am just googling it now to find out, don't know why i didn't check sooner...

OK the result:

The original sense of news was 'new things'; this is long obsolete. Since the 15th century it has been used to mean 'tidings, the report of recent events, new occurrences as a subject or report or talk.'


I AM THE WINNER! YAY! Ok, now that we have settled that, we can move on to what I was really meaning to blog about...

The first thing I wanted to mention was that I thought I had written almost 200 posts, but then when I checked it turns out that was counting all the drafts as well - not just published posts. So instead of having 4 posts to go until a 200THPOSTEXTRAVANGANZA, i now have 12... gosh DARN IT ALL TO ROBOT HELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL! So no more drafts.. once i start writing a post, come hell or high water, I WILL PUBLISH IT!!!

So the good news there is that I have lots more blogging to do, and more time to think of what to do my 200th post about!! Hazaah!

The other thing I wanted to talk about is PODCASTS! While I have listened to the entire Ricky Gervais show via podcast on my faithful iPod... i get the feeling there is so much more out there. I know Josh has lots which he gets from his friend Jim. Jim is known around my neck of the woods (probably only by me) as 'the dealer'. He'll hook you up with whatever your podcast needs happen to be. Podcasts to make you feel good, to calm you down, to expand your mind - you name it - he gots it. That's what his travelling soapbox salesman says about him anyway...

I have heard Josh listening to quite a few different podcasts including:

Jonothan Ross - you know that lovable british personality with the slight speech impediment / lisp thing going on? He usually interviews celebrities and makes fun of Ross Noble.

The Drunk Tank - this is a bunch of guys talking smack about stuff. They usually talk about gaming stuff so I lose interest pretty quick but some parts that I understand are quite funny.

The Daily Bugle - these are 2 British guys (i think comedians) who talk about news and giggle at eachother the whole time. It's really funny. Josh thought I might like it because he thinks that i have a lot in common with this guy:

Yes, I can see the resemblance. That's comedian Andy Zaltzman, Josh says we have the same sense of humour: stupid and exaggerated, wild rambling tangents, incredible imagination and love of hypotheticals... well that about sums me up :D

And Finally, This American Life. The podcast I may be developing a slight obsession with. It is basically interviews with different people about that podcast's subject matter. For example one podcast is all about Babysitting, and different people tell stories of their experiences with it. Usually they are quite remarkable. You find yourself so drawn into the story, as though you were in a trance- it is incredible! I listened to one last night with Josh about this guy who approaching 40 realised he was really 'unremarkable' and wanted to do something big. He recalls his 20's when he was working in a meth ring taking ingredients across the mexican border. He then reads about this story where 2 little girls (one with downs syndrome) are kidnapped by her meth-head parents from the custody of their grandparents. The parents killed their landlord, then stole the kids, then went on the run and were thought to be in mexico - the area this guy knows like the back of his hand. So he sets about tracking these little girls down. Seriously it is amazing stuff. I can't remember the theme of the podcast so I can't find a link... maybe it was "heroes" or something like that...

I really like this podcast because it gives you an insight into so many different people's lives. That's why I love blogs so much! Seeing what other people around the world get up to. I listened to one on the train today about the Kindness (and unkindess) of Strangers. It was also very cool. I need more!!!

Follow the links above and you can download the podcasts for free! If anyone out there has some other podcasts that you enjoy, or even think i may enjoy, I'd love to hear from you!