This Australian Life

Hey there readers. In tonight's instalment I'll be telling you some great stories, and bringing you some pictures direct from...you guessed it - my life. First up, my amazing January so far! For Christmas my dearest got me tickets to both David Sedaris and Ira Glass in their similarly named 'An evening with....' shows 1 week apart at the Athaneum here in Melbourne. Josh introduced me to This american life about a year ago or so, and I aint done ever looked back. Much like many other regular listeners or downloaders of the American radio show/podcast, I think Ira Glass (the host) is some kind of demi god. He ticks all the boxes of what I want to hear and is pretty much just a cool dude. It was on this show that I first heard of the author/humourist David Sedaris too. He was reading aloud an essay from one of his books and i was hooked in! His exaggeration technique is like a kajillion times more amazing than what i could ever dream up! 

So first up was the David Sedaris show! I had been reading his books and listening to him for a while and even starting to follow the career of his sister Amy... in a non-stalkerish way naturally. I could not believe i was going to see him in person, and I was nervous too as there was an opportunity to meet him after the show in the book signing!!! Now, I am not the smoothest of characters so I was already envisioning the ways I would embarrass myself. Plus I read that he chats to each person for a few minutes at the signing and then draws/writes something interesting in your book. One lady wrote that he signed her book something about diabetes thus the thinks he was insinuating she was fat. Now I really love DS, and I was thinking if he found fault in me I would have to ceremoniously burn all his books and pretend I'd never heard of  him to avoid the stab of pain that would come every time i saw one of the books laying around. The broken fan heart. Luckily he thought i was AWESSSSSSSSSSSSSSOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMEEEE!!!

Not even joking, Josh had a great idea of writing something in the book before giving it to him so I drew a pic of DS along with some other stuff and when he opened it he grinned and was like "WHO DID THIS?!!" and I fessed up (sorry, i have recently (and ironically) read a DOLLY mag.. omg, i'm OTT crazy atm) and he was like "That's fantastic, i love it etc etc.." so the 3 of us (me, the bf, and the housemate) stood there chatting to him, and he proceeded to tell us filthy filthy jokes!!!!!! It was amazing. He wrote in one of my books how much he loves my drawing, and made sure to tell me again as i left. Hoorah. Guess i can pick up another of his books to add to the collection now. He passed the test. the test of being worthy enough to keep a reader interested. Anyway that was a great night, and a few days later was Ira!!!!!!

We started the night with drinks and postulating what he'd talk about. 

They were cleverly concealing their giddy child-like glee... as was I. Actually i cant really conceal anything so i made a few strange noises and squeeks that happen at these times. Skipping ahead, Ira was also great! He was different to what I imagined (posture and body language-wise) but in a way I was glad to see a bit of the real Ira and realise he is just a dude. Just a normal down to earth dude who had no idea people in Australia loved him so much as he bowed time and time again at the end of his talk. He began his show in total darkness as the voice we all know and love filled the room. When the lights came on, the crowd went wild! One of his first questions as he grinned around the room was 'How do you guys even know who I am??' - funny. I think he has learned quite a lot from his visit and his eyes are opened a little about his fanbase. I was surprised to know that their staff only consists of 8 people. Working nutso hours and trying to pull stories from everywhere they can. So amazing.

Anyway, I also just got back from a little weekend road trip to Adelaide for my cousin's birthday! We took my mannequin 'Derryn' along for the ride and he had fun at the beach. People were a little taken aback, but in the end the police calmed everyone down and we got the head back.

At first i thought we wouldnt even make it, as I had been having car issues. I had no power, and sometimes couldnt get over 80km/hour. i also later found out both brake lights were out. The mechanic my mum took the car to (as my xmas present) couldnt fix the situation and didnt fix my brakelights before returning it. So i got my un-roadworthy car back and avoided driving it. I had it booked into Nissan for a detailed inspection and was prepared to fork out a few hundo (that i didnt have) for a solution. Then luckily my sicko brother did a little online research and found out that my model of car has this in-built safety mechanism thing that when both brakelights are out, the engine goes into safety mode or something. So $3 in light-globes later, the car ran perfectly again. I could not believe my luck!

In unrelated news... here is a zucchini that grew like crazy while i was interstate. I picked it today when i got up! It is the size of my shin.

Lately I have been doing a little cooking (of course) but not photographing much of my escapades... here's just one for you:

Also, I found this at my front door one night....

I opened the door looking for my cat late one night (yes i know, cats should be in-doors etc etc) and there is was, with the fairy attached to the top like in the pic. As you can see it is half eaten by snails and has obviously blown from someone's bin. In my mind though, some young girl has taken a liking to me from the few seconds each morning she sees me cross the yard to my car and has drawn and almost flawless picture of me. It is quite remarkable how alike we are really. Those dead eyes, the black boots. Amazing.

I've been getting a little arty too, I made a bunch of snowflakes for Xmas to add some christmas flayvaaaa to wrapping paper. these ones went on the wall :) 

Oh and this one... This is not a real person. This is a sacrificial scarecrow we made when Josh quit his job. We burned the uniform and badge and all in my back-yard. It was wild. And scary. And smoky. But mostly funny. Those bits on the ground are the arms. They fell with a dull thump. It's amazing what petrol and hay and leftover wrapping paper can do. Ok, i'm wrapping this up as I am getting way tired. Below is a picture of a gnome i bought from a country op-shop for $1. I thought my suburbian yard needed a little cliche to it. I love his childlike bearded face and cross leggedness.

I am yet to name him though. Any thoughts?

cookin' up a storm

Hello fair ladies and gentle fellows! I have some news on the cooking front! Recently I made this asian vermicelli noodle salad for dinner. I didn't have much to work with in the fridge so i grated some carrot and cucumber to mix through the noodles, found a spring onion, some mint and some bean sprouts in the fridge too. oh and i put some finely grated purple cabbage through and added some splashes of sauces....

It was really yummy, although being the big eater I am, it wasn't enough to fill my tum tum. but by the time i got hungry it was late.... i often find myself contemplating second dinner around 11pm...but i almost always resist and turn in for the night. Oh, also, a few days ago i had quite the baking day! I made shortbreads, banana bread AND made a recipe i have been wanting to make for a long time!! CANDY CANE COOKIES! Let's watch:

Here are my Christmas stars... I thought i had a decent 5 point star cutter, but turns out i have this weird 4 point star cutter. who ever heard of 4 points? it looks a bit like a nazareth star...if that's a 'thing'. I'm talking shit again. Ok, so i used the lavender to make lavender shortbread love-hearts. Apparently got rave reviews... Also i used the over-ripe bananas to make banana cinamon bread. yummo...

And the Pièce de résistance... CANDY CANE COOKIES!

I have looked at this recipe every christmas for the past 5 years i reckon. Laaaazy! I finally unlocked the door to this cool recipe! Thats another 2 recipes off my list! But they were kinda fun to make.... actually they were really fiddly and the dough was almost like trying to work with water so they were annoying to make. But worth it.

That's the finished product. I put them in gift bags last night for some lucky people, but about 3 of them broke........ god damn it al to HELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!!!!

So Christmas is in a few days..... woo! I am not feeling organised but i no longer care. This year i am feeling kind of grinchy about the whole christmas thing. I know decorating my house and baking cookies doesnt seem like grinch behaviour... but believe me, i was more excited last year haha. Need to be more positive about this time of year. promise to be next year. It should be a nice festive season, and I'm lookig forward to New Years Eve too cos I'm hosting the party this year and it's gonna be "Frat Party" theme. I hear Lady Gaga is making an appearance. I'll make sure I get a photo with her in my toga.. :)

CHRISTMAS HAS LANDED

ATTENTION! ATTENTION! CHRISTMAS HAS LANDED! BE PREPARED! I am just starting to get organised, but I think I will be adding to my Christmas decoration collection a bit this year! Last year i was pretty poor, but this year I may be getting some new things i hope! This is what I have started off with in order to spread some Christmas cheer throughout the house:

And then some more lovely roses from darling Josh....

Can't wait to get some more stuff! Maybe a wreath...or a giant inflatable santa and sleigh to put on the roof!!!!! Just kidding. I need to find a place to hang the stockings too, so watch this space. This christmassy space :D

stick bowls, bento lunches, and nutcrackers

I have been quite the slack schmack lately and haven't blogged much at all. So last week i brought to work a rather un-japanese bento lunch consisting of leftover comfort food (mashed potato with mashed vegies through it) and some tuna, rice and seaweed. it was actually so delicious, and i had to eat it over two days cos there was a bit too much food for one girl. The mashed vegies comfort food was *like* my favourite thing ever as a kid. I would
mash all my vegies together on my dinner plate and then squirt some dead horse (tomato sauce) all over it. Whenever i am down or sick i love a bit o' mashed veg. Takes me back to the womb days pretty much. I imagine my womb days were very chillaxed as my mum didn't drink (although now she enjoys a drop or two) or smoke or do drugs so i was sittin' pretty. I wonder if a hillbilly baby is still safe in the womb or if the alcohol and drugs transform into little laser ships that shoot it in the soft head. it's kinda freaky how babies heads are so soft even after they are born. Josh's nephew was born with a massive cone head due to the suction cup thing and i worried that it would stay that way but luckily he is a normal, nay adorable, kid now with a nice round head. what the hell am i talking about... here is my bento:

then on the weekend i decided i was going to get crafty and finally make my stick bowl. i can't think of a better name. Basically in apollo bay i saw this cool bowl made of sticks painted white and thought "i could totally make that...." and so i did. I transformed this pile of sticks:

into this strange looking white nest. The shadows aren't really adding to its attractiveness. it actually looks kinda alright. I hot glued a whole bunch of sticks together while watching Pineapple Express and was shocked to see that it looks a little bit like a kindergarden art project. oh well. i haven't figured out what to put in the bowl yet. I suggested i would lay my baby jesus in it but it has these bits that jut out and would probably pierce his holy kidneys. oh well i'm sure i can think of something else to put in it.

oh and yesterday we did grocery shopping at ALDI and i got this awwweeeesome nutcracker man for a christmas decoration:

He is awesome and pretty big. Josh doesn't really like him because he has no lips and he says he looks too much like a zombie. preeeeetty fair call, but still c'mon he is cool. christmas decoration # 3 is on display. I am getting there slowly. I don't know why but i am super excited about this christmas! wwwwwweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!