Lunchtime Adventure Challenge: Free Samples Lunch @ QVM

Good day everyone! So for those of you who don't know, I sometimes go on little adventures in my lunch break - destinations carefully selected by my cousin or friend who live interstate. We check out google maps of the eateries surrounding each other's work places and select a place for each other to go and sometimes set challenges. Today my destination was the Queen Victoria Market and the challenge was to eat a lunch comprising of free samples. I'm quite shy in person and don't usually ask for samples, but today I left all inhibitions at my desk and went guns blazing and mouth open into the belly of the free sample beast. I took Kate along as photographer so you believed I actually did it. She and I had a grand old time which began in the fruit section, where free samples are encouraged....

Here I ate 3 little bits of pineapple. Mind you, it was a $7.90 organic pineapple and was absolutely DELICIOUS! Also in the organic section, I stopped for 1 macadamia nut and 2 roasted cashew nuts...

We had our eyes peeled for another little bowl somewhere, and here i found it with some yellow nectarine. I got 2 little cubes maybe 1cm square or less haha..

Next was on to the cheese! I hit this place first, and tried the King Island Brie, the Cheddar and the Blue. The Cheddar was worth a mention :)

Then we hit another cheese stand which the photos of me were horrendous... and i tried the blue cheese there. Next was onto a place where I was going to ask for an olive sample before we got distracted by this:

We asked what it was and the man explained it was a Greek dessert made from sesame...tahini, nuts, and chocolate. those were his words. He said the whole thing could sell for $250 - $300 but you can buy small sections for about $8. That was interesting enough for me so we gave it a go and:

FIREWORKS! This stuff is amazing!! It has the strangest texture like fairy floss/nougat combined! The guy suggested that we should crumble it over ice cream and we nearly jizzed it. That would be AMAZING! I want to check out a recipe and see if it is actually something that some non-greek nobody like me could pull off :D wee-hooooooo!! Next was onto the African stall, I was actually just checking out the spice mixes as I'm planning to make some african soon ;) I have a feeling I could pick this up in Footscray cheaper, as it's $12 for the medium jar... or i could possibly make it myself?

Next was onto the nut shop. I had to think of something obscure enough to ask for and act as though i was interested to try it. I picked dried blueberries as i didnt think i had had them before.

I was genuinely interested after eating them and asked whether they reconstitute in muffins or pancakes etc when you cook them but they didnt know anything haha. Oh, next i was determined to get an olive. We went to this place that had all different kinds of stuffed olives and i pretended like I wanted to know what i was getting in case I didn't like it. And i was:

No samples! OUCH! Then i hit another cheese stand and tried their brie, cheddar and blue. All three = amazing! I will definately buy some of the blue.. it was a gorgonzola dolce something. I'll remember when i see it.

Oh, then it was on to dip central! This place had the best green olive dip for sampling and also a sun-dried tomato pesto for sampling. Then i was cheeky and asked to sample 2 more flavours - one of which was carrot and coriander dip - which i have never had!

That face is the face of positive assessment! There was a strange woman next to me who urged me to try another flavour - spicy hommus. I felt like i had taken too much from them already and the shopkeeper only agreed to let me have a taste 'as long as i don't ask to sample every flavour'. I promised, and the spicy hommus was in my mouth. Of course it was tainted with guilt so didn't taste so great.

Next door was the wine cellar. They advertised 2 wines available for tasting. This one:

And a rosé. I tried both and didnt like the rosé, but the moscato was great! I asked the guy if it really has white chocolate flavours in it, and the lovely man (sarcasm) said "No, it's just there so girls like you get all excited and buy it." before walking off to get me a glass....................................... hmmm. Here he is:

I'm not sure if he was actually a see you next tuesday, or if he was trying that schoolyard cheeky thing on me, a bit reminiscent of 'the game'... negs and all that shizz...

I drank to 'all the girls like me' out there. All the girls who slept in and had 8 minutes to get ready thus didnt put on makeup or do their hair :P Then we checked out the French shoppe. Crazy stuff in there..

Oh yeah (oh my god we went everywhere) then we hit the juice bar which had a sign saying "please ask for a free sample" so i tasted the lemon cheesecake yoghurt and then the apple and rhubarb yoghurt (yuuuummm) but then she noticed the camera and got a bit funny...

Then we went back to the first cheese place I was at because there was a new person serving cheese. It must have been all 2 sips of that wine i drank going to my head and imparing my judgement for me to think it was a good idea. The lady actually said the boy's name and asked "Why have they got a camera!?" and then everyone looked at eachother awkwardly and we walked off in a hurry. hahahaha. I should have gotten up on my soapbox and said "there is no rule as to how many samples you can have god damn it!!!"

I tried 1 sunflower seed but i didnt realise it was in a shell until i was almost choking on it :P

Then we hit the fruit place again as nobody cared who ate what...

So there you have it... 5 bits of pineapple, 2 bits of yellow nectarine, 1 macadamia, 2 cashews, 9 cheese samples, 2 halva samples, 1 taste of berbere spice mix, 4 dried blueberries, 4 dip samples, 2 wine samples, 2 yoghurt samples, 1 sunflower seed - complete with shell, 1 bit of white peach, and 1/4 of a strawberry. I just thought the cumquats were funny :) So even after all that scabbing about 3 hours ago, i am hungry. surprise surprise! I have some steamed vegetables to eat just in case (yay). Kate had said I wasnt allowed to have a back-up lunch otherwise i wouldnt have the determination to get as many samples. She changed her mind as she was impressed by my forwardness and was happy with the amount i got. We agreed that we probably couldn't have got any more and had robbed enough local farmers for one day. On the plus side, I now love halva, know where to go for an amazing green olive dip and also where to go for the best blue cheese. Hooray! Oh and i picked up a bottle of that cool moscato to drink with my friend Mel who gets back from Hawaii today. She is a 'girl like me' who can appreciate a cute bottle of wine ;)

lunchtime adventure: the beast must feed

Mutha Truckazz UNITE! HOO! I am in a bit of a strange mood today, guys. My mood is bouncing around between the labels: Lothargic, Hypo, Genius, and Jive. I may have just written words that sounded good there, i can't really think straight.

So last night the work crew and I went out for dinner and to an Old Melbourne Gaol night tour to test out the product for work-related reasons. It was pretty creepy! There was a creepy almost-middle-aged portly guy working there with long red/grey hair and a beard -no i didnt want to fellate him. As my friend michelle would say: "He was no Rupert Grint, right Jade?". This guy had less than 0% people skills somehow. He noticed the pram my boss had with him and was like "Uh...is there an...*shudder*...infant... here?". who the fuck calls babies or toddlers INFANTS conversationally?? Maybe back in 1800 or so, jesus christ. Anyway he was kind of like the host . He had to address us as a group but did not look ANYONE in the eye at any point during his sickeningly pertinent laying down the law speech. He instead looked to the top right corner of his field of vision with his eyebrows raised so patronizingly superior. How i longed to slap him! The creepiest part was that he stalked around the dark gaol ringing a bell from the shadows while our guide showed us around. He was watching us in the background.. anyway what am I talking about? Oh yes, so after all of that I went to see Josh's band play a gig at the Arthouse. They were headlining so were on at 11pm - midnight. I was allowed to stay at work so that i could get enough sleep and be here for my 8.30am start :) Woo hoooo! My bosses are cool like that sometimes!

So for some reason i woke up as crazy jade today. I think it's cos i didnt see sunlight or smell fresh air until i went on my lunch break at 1.30pm. So it was here at my desk in those few minutes before I left the office that I finally decided what the beast (me when i am hungry) needed. BRATWURST. oh and also i had to pick up a few supplies for the dinner party tonight which i will explain laterz..

So I headed to the Queen Victoria Market where at lunch-time the place is rampant with hungry office workers and backpackers, and FUCKING SLOW OLD PEOPLE IN GROUPS WHO WALK SO SLOW THAT I WANT TO TEAR MY FACE OFF!!! That is very rude of me. But when I am hungry I get quite rude. Among all the fresh produce, you will find some great lunch places like the Borek shop, the juice bar, take-away shops and THE BRATWURST SHOP. That's where i was headed, and i was sooo hungry.

I thought first i should get my obligations out of the way, so i picked up the fresh pasta (dairy free - go Hayden you lucky vegan!) for dinner and some basil and parsley to make some pesto with. I picked the basil and garlic papardelle :)

Then it was time to feast. But not quite yet. I had to find a den where i could protect my food from the prying eyes of other hungry lunch-goers. Here is what $5.80 AUD got me today :)

Pork Pepper sausage with medium mustard, tomato sauce and sauerkraut. mmmmmmmmmmmm

I hurried back towards work to eat it - well i tried to but i think everyone around me could sense i was in a hurry so the fuckers walked slower and in chains of 3 across the sidewalk. It was an actual obstacle course, but i managed to get back fairly quickly to satiate my hunger. When i entered the office i looked on, in horror, as my boss was sitting at my desk using my computer. I know i had subarashiiblog open, but maybe just minimised. I usually post in my lunchbreak or if there actually is nothing for me to do at the time. I hope if he is reading this now somehow he will think of all the work i do when it is busy haha. Anyway he said he needed to use some program that only i have and asked if i had to eat at my desk. well i didn't really, but i didnt want him reading my blog either. I said quite nonchalantly that the rooftop would be adequate for me to dine on. So off i went...

This ancient lift was going to test my patience, i just knew it. It stops at every level and goes up and down in a seemingly random order. And if there was anyone else in the lift with me, they would be able to smell the bratwurst i was clutching in my hungry claws and want some for sure. And i was not prepared to share. I was practicing my protective growl when the doors opened for me, and the girl that exited eyed off my pork sausage. it was all i could do to not trip her over and run.

Finally i was alone (sort of) with my lunch, and i was preparing to feast. I was thinking about the best way to eat it. If i just opened wide and slid it down my throat with my index finger it would probably kill me, so i thought i would eat it in the conventional way and try to do it as lady-like as possible despite the urge to rape it with my face and mouth.

When i said i was sort of alone, I meant there were backpackers near me without their shirts.

Paparazzi or what? The presence of other people made me eat it very slowly and cleanly. I couldn't smash my face into it like a lion into a zebra's belly. Oh well.

So now I am full and content and am about to do lots of productive work- if you are reading this, boss.

Oh yes, tonight Maki has invited his family over for dinner. So there is going to be Maki, his mum, dad, brother, girlfriend, Josh, Hayden and Meeeeeeee. Wowza! I think i will have to hurry home so i can help get things ready. I don't doubt the boys will have it under control but I might just clean up and make the place smell good :) how exciting!

PEACE OUT!

Jade

la cantina mi amo

I went with the work crew to test out a new cafe at the Vic Market on Friday. It is named La Cantina and sells Chilean home-style cuisine! So they have like Chilean "Completo" hot dogs and "currassco" steak sandwiches (which is what i got!)... verdict: AMAZING.

It is located in F-shed in those permanent shops along the middle, and is open Market hours. So NOT mondays or wednesdays. They also own that Churros van that has been there for 30 years! Good on 'em I say!

Think Loud Latin beats, a lazy overhead fan, sipping a beer at the outdoor seating area while you wait for your amazing lunch to arrive...

Here is my steak sandwich (Churrassco Chacarero) complete with peppered steak, home-made guacamole, home-made mayo, home-made salsa verde, fresh tomato and fresh green beans. FUCKING AMAZING...

ok, that looks pretty feral. But you will shit your pants when you eat this! it is THE BEST steak sandwich i have ever had. ($9.50)

And to wash it all down, a can of Inca Cola!! It was a cross between Cola and Creamy Soda :)

When we got back from lunch, my boss Marcia (who was suffering from a cold) found this on her desk, a gift from the Korean backpacker doing some artistic murals for us:

close-up:

hehe Bear, what a cutie!

Anyway if you are from Melbourne, I highly recommend this place. CHECK IT!