a little peace and quiet

Have you ever had one of those days when you just need to be away, in the middle of nowhere, just... away? Well I experienced this rare desire on Sunday. Normally I am quite happy to be at home to sort through my thoughts there, but yesterday I decided I needed to be near running water for some reason. I hope this doesn't mean I'm losing the plot, like the water is calling me to it and then I slowly march in and never re-surface. That is... until I resurface one town over next to a little child making what would be their very last sand-castle before they developed a phobia. Anyway, so I felt like I couldn't concentrate on reading or writing at home and I needed to be in a more open natural area.

I think this desire may have had something to do with the fact that I spent all of Saturday in bed due to some overzealous partying on Friday night. It was a shame I was the only one on that level and the only one hung-over because there was nobody to sympathise with. All I got were other people's recollections of what I said or did and who I yelled "SLUT" at... much to my brother's amazement. I can't say I'm terribly proud of my cheekier actions but I obviously had an amazing time. Josh said I was being a dork and he was happy that I was happy. What a guy <3

So Saturday was interesting. Once my body had expelled most of the demons I realised I couldn't really move - or at least it wasn't a good idea to. Josh got up and went for a walk and made a delicious breakfast for himself and then went to work at 1pm. I was still dying. I tried to have a shower but standing up for that long simply made things worse and the heat of the water made me feel like I was going to pass out. It was then that I realised that binge drinking is no longer something that I can do very well. Back in bed, I was glad to see that I had a tube of Pringles, some Oranges, water and a remote within arms reach. And so commenced the "Six Feet Under" healing marathon. With each episode and orange segment, I felt life slowly filling my body like the formaldehyde in the show. So I got out of bed at 5.30pm and tried to act like I CHOSE to spend my day in bed. I wasn't foolin' nobody.

So after that little effort, I was certainly looking to get out and about on Sunday. I went for a drive to a semi-local spot I had actually never visited. I thought it would be nice and quiet there at one of the lookouts off the carpark, but within 5 minutes of sitting down I was already witness to some "hoon" behaviour. One car was trying to impress.... me?..... and did a SICK burnout on the gravel or the car park for about, oh 15 seconds, and then took off onto the windy road screeching for the next 15. How attractive. Obviously a man with money who can splash out for new tyres every other week! How I remained sitting there fully clothed during that display is beyond me. Maybe they were hoping that the power of their burn out would blow my clothes right off? Wankers. Anyway, once the smell of burning rubber was gone I could focus on my little picninc table. There was a sign that I chose the right table for me:

I swear that wasn't my handy work. Unless I tend to sleepwalk to far away secluded places to graffiti wooden tables. That sounds like something I'd do right? Anyway, once I picked my table, I admired the view.. it was green and quiet and lovely.

I sat down with my books and did some quality reading.

This is from a book Josh got me called "The Art of Salad Making" from 1968. It's pretty cute. I love the opening line to the book: 

It made me laugh out loud the first time I read it. I continued to read more of her anecdotes and thoughts. For some reason this line struck me: "The hostess who gets carried away is a dreadful menace."

I planned to stay for a long while but the comings and goings of the cars in this secluded spot were distracting me immensely! After the first car burned off, there was a second car full of guys tearing it up and yelling out, then an Indian family got out and sat at the next lookout for 5 minutes before leaving, then another car pulled up a bit too close for comfort. I could hear the pop and crunch of the gravel on tyres slowing down like a roulette wheel behind me. I tried not to look around, because that would let THEM know I was freaking out. It probably didn't help that at this point I was reading a book about murders and attacks and disappearances. They killed the engine and sat in the car for a minute or 2, while I pretended to read and put my glasses back on (all the better to see you with). When I heard the car door open and close I tensed up and a classic Peep Show quote ran through my head: "They're going to kill me and burn me in the bath". (HINDSIGHT LOL) I heard the crunching of feet approaching me and wondered what the hell I was doing keeping my back turned. I spun around to see this middle aged lady with a massive camera come to take pictures of the view. She ignored me, so i went back to my reading, this time with a higher BPM. After a while I was alone again, so naturally I took the opportunity to get a self portrait looking pensive ;) 

Oh yeah, that's the stuff. Look at that vulnerability- I was asking for it. Ok enough of that. So ends my first (un-succesful) journey to find a quiet thinking space. Something tells me I may be in the wrong suburb for it :P

wikka wikka

What up people? I have spent a bit of time today going back and reading some of my posts from months and years gone by. Quite interesting reading, I must say! The reason I did this is because my younger brother DK wants me to make a speech at his 21st in a few weeks (eep) and I was looking for material i may have written in here previously. All I found was that story about how he wanted to pretend to be homeless. Oh dear. But there was some good reading to be had. Perhaps you should try it, pick one of my tags on the right and take the trip!

Speaking of trips, I finished reading Trainspotting a few days ago and really liked it. It was dark and dirty and interesting. I liked the chapters that were written phonetically in Scottish, I found it easy enough to follow along. Josh thought I would struggle but I sure proved him wrong :) I think it comes from practice. See, when I was about 12 I remember writing a story for school based on some Irish settlers in Australia and I wrote their dialogue phonetically. Haha. I was years ahead of myself, a child prodigy if you will. Irvine Welsh and I are like kindred spirits or something. I've often wondered if I will ever write a book. I still don't know. Maybe. It would be a cool thing to do, but of course I've had no formal training and it would be more of a hobby than anything really. I'd just love to set up an old type-writer in my cottage in the woods (it's coming) and tap it out. I know that's sooo not practical but I need to have my imagination :) I read an interview with Irvine Welsh who explained that he never really meant to be a writer and had quite a mediocre life and dabbled in drugs quite a bit which kind of kept him in the one place. It sounds as though some of the content of Trainspotting comes directly from his own life! Crazy! Hmm... so what can I write about in my debut novel....? At the moment I think Psycho Family Drama is the main thing I could take from my life to entertain and shock people. Maybe I should keep a journal and look back on it in a few years when I'm not so involved. Watch out for it!

Oh yeah, I went to the Video Store (do we still call it that?) on Monday night to borrow Trainspotting. I've never seen it and wanted to compare it to the book - as you do. I had a bit of a look and couldn't find it, then the dude told me that all copies had been stolen! How fitting!! HA! So I'll watch it sometime soon, my friend Roo says he has it - how exciting!! I seem to be doing a bit of the Movie/Book thing at the moment. The book before Trainspotting was "The girl with the dragon tattoo" which I liked. I then noticed had been made into a movie but I don't think it will be good. Someone tell me otherwise please. And now I've just started reading Truman Capote's 'Breakfast at Tiffany's'. I really like it! It is surprisingly cool and a little bit crazy. I have never seen the movie and totally mis-judged the whole concept and the quality! So I am keen to see what happens to Miss Holly Golightly and I already have the DVD lined up to watch :D Truman Capote, your collected works are about to be eye-raped by me!

Hmm, I am keen to get home today. I have a few things I want to do... like hit the supermarket, go to my friend's house to borrow some Nigel Slater cookbooks, start working on a present for Shiho, clean out my wardrobe, watch an old movie from the set Jim gave me, AND wrap Maki and Mel's Birthday presents! They are getting back from Hawaii soon and I can't wait for them to open them! I can't say much more until then, but I am proud of my efforts and will put pixxx up soon. The reason I need to clean out my wardrobe is because firstly I found a great sale and bought a whole bunch of stuff for around $100 total. Out with the old, in with the new! I got a dress, a bag, 2 pairs of shorts, 3 singlet-ish tops, 2 skirts, 2 dress shirts, and 1 oversized cream rose brooch. All for $100AUD.. amazing hey? I also came home yesterday to find a bag of clothes from my mum in my front doorway. They are from a friend of a friend of someone! The bag was FULL of dresses. There were maybe 10 or so. I modelled them all last night and am keeping i think 4....! They all have a vintage look to them! So good. I don't know exactly where they came from but I am very grateful and can't wait to wear the first one on Friday night! I'm going out to Maha in the city, and having a fancy dinner, drinks and SHISHA! Finally crossing shisha off the list! WOO!

Hopefully this old horror movie I watch tonight won't be actually scary, cos I keep watching horrors when I'm alone at night and freak myself out. In a way I like that irrational fear from scary movies, like how you become convinced someone is in your house. But on the other hand, I really don't. I've been at home alone most of the last week or so because my housemate Maki is in Hawaii and the other guy, Hayden, is staying at his girlfriend's a lot. So I stupidly watched Martyrs, and Funny Games recently for the rush. Well last night it caught up with me. I went to bed around midnight in the empty house and had my window open for the cool breeze coming through. I kept hearing noises outside my window and MUST have started dreaming something freaky. Anyway around 12.45 i hear the front screen door slam shut, but not the main door or anything else, so in my half-wake I convinced myself that someone opened the screen door and tested the wooden door, and when they couldn't get in, they let the screen door slam before walking off. I somehow fell alseep again, then was woken up by something clattering to the floor in the kitchen. Now I was really convinced. I could see light coming under my door and I was frozen sitting upright in bed with my heart pounding and my ears straining to hear. Phone in hand I stood at my bedroom door listening. I heard 2 voices and I thought I could hear a new zealand accent. Haha. I almost called the police but first i thought i should call hayden just in case it was him and if it wasnt, just to let him know i was about do die. I dialled and waited... then i heard his phone ringing. Relieved, I walked out into the house and had a weird conversation with him and Julia where we were all apologising to one another. Them for waking me up so late and scaring me, me for acting so crazily, and possibly Julia for being 95% naked holding something up to her front. Haha. I went to bed pretty quickly after that and fell into a deep sleep. So deep that i woke up late for work again. Ha!    

Anyway, I must be off now, hope we shall meet again soon! :)

August Poem

I worte this late last night... I apologise in advance...

Reading 'Tomorrow when the war began"
has altered my perception of reality.
Almost calling a dude "Lee" cos he's from Vietnam
Indicates I'm losing my understanding of 'similarity'.

I should probably stop but I'm on the last book,
and now I'm pretty much living it in my mind.
I'm not tough like Ellie though, at Paintball I was a sook.
Anyone on my side of war would be in the ultimate bind.

Josh would shoot me like a horse with a broken foot
Maybe I'd do a "Robyn" from book three...
But I'd probs go a bit "Kevin" (in book 5)- the moot.
I'm already talking in codes - look at meeee!

*gasp*

The cold and flu tabs are kicking in now!
I'm hot, I'm cold, I'm hungry, I'm itchy!
But mostly sleepy and my brain's going KAPOW!
Like a showbag name that made me twitchy.

My delirium is a blessing, it greases the wheels
It also sounds like an Evanescence album name
Jesus Christ woman, I hate your cotton mouth spiels
Everything about you I find lame...

"That was way harsh Tai.." - 10 points to guess the moive
I'll just tell you - it's Clueless. Anyway, what's my opinion worth?
Not a damn thing if you ask me
What was this about? Something about Earth...?

~-*-~the sound of wonder~-*-~

ohmygosh! Last night I got home from work and checked the letterbox for bills or other stupid letters, and to my ultimate supreeze (Count Olaf) there was a little letter in there for me from OVERSEAS! YAY! I love getting personal mail! This one turned out to be from my family in England. My uncle was transfered there for work early this year and they are having a blast! My 2 cousins are attending Primary School there, and they have been travelling all over Europe every chance they get. Amazing opportunity, nay? Here's my birthday card:

After I got all excited about getting this card I said to Maki that I was expecting a package from my cousin Andrew too and was worried nobody would be here to collect it. That's when he pointed out that it was sitting on the table and I had totally overlooked it. I was like double triple a billion excited! OK, I want to explain about my cousin! So, my dad's side of the family is HA-YUUUUGE! He is the youngest of 8, and he is nearly 51! My nana was/is a good Catholic woman and swears that each child was an immaculate conception. Ah-huh, sure thing sweet cheeks! So Andrew is a bit older than me and we didn't really grow up together. As soon as he was old enough he was out in the world travelling and having fun with his camera skillz - and i guess i was still in school so in a total different place!

Anyway so I can probably count the amount of times I've talked to him on my fingers, but it's cool cos he's awesome and it's not awkward at all when we do. Except for this one time about mmm 5 years ago haha! i was seeing the "Ramones: End of the Century" documentary in the city with some friends - and I was fresh out of high school in my tight black jeans, chuck taylors, purple/black hair and probably a Ramones t-shirt for the occasion. After the movie we were leaving the building when i saw him (on a date?) entering the building to see the next session. I was like "ANDREW!!?" and he spun around with a smile on his face, expecting to see a dear aquaintence, which faded ever so slowly as he failed to recognise who I was. He looked pretty confused, so I explained "It's Jade!.....(nothing).... your cousin!" then he clicked and was all apologies! He explained later that it had been years since he'd last seen me and I look way older and super different to what he expected. I think he feels pretty bad about it though, especially since at my Birthday dinner last week Josh told him that I still go on and on about that Ramones day, and Andrew kinda belived him a little i think. I was trying to disprove Josh's cheeky antics... hopefully he doesn't think I'm hung up on it. To be honest I had forgotten all about it until he brought it up at dinner. On my card he wrote something along the lines of "If you have received this card and gift it means I recognise you. You are my cousin. Jade." which i totally didn't get and he had to remind me! haha!

So anywayyyy he has been travelling the world and works as a photographer and has some cool pictures and lots of stories! Some of which are about India as he spent 3 months there one time! I am dyiiinnngggg to go to India - possibly late next year - so he said I should read this book called "Holy Cow". He said "I'll post it to you!" and he did. I am discovering that he is an action man:

And he also included this CD he was telling me about called "The Sound of Wonder" which is a compilation of the best 60's and 70's tracks from Pakistani Lollywood films:

I put it on last night and was blown away. I only wish there was someone with me to experience it too. Maybe tonight I will play it for Josh and dance a little? It is soooo trippy and crazy and awesome. I cannot explain, you will just have to hear it for yourself...

I made that lame little track listing there for my own reference. When I listen to it again i can pick out my faves. I remember track 3 having a really strange beginning where the guy was making lots of bonkers noises with his mouth! So anyway, I am thankful to my Random Action Man cousin (RAM) {ramalamadingdong} for sending me those gifts. I'll have to figure out what to do with the book cos he is going overseas soon to hang out with my other cousin who lives in New York with her photographer husband Keate Barker (who is by the way apparently a big deal these days). I'll keep it safe until his return :) YAY for snail mail!!

a book affair

ello! I went to "Book Affair" on the weekend - the Sydney Rd Brunswick one. I have fond memories of going to the old one on Elgin Street in Carlton, my oh my yes. I used to go in there with Josh back in the day and play with the pet cats they had. I think it was perhaps this store that stirred up the thoughts of opening a bookstore in Josh. That and Black Books. And every other bookstore ever. BUT anyway they are super cool and have a billion billion books, and here are a few pictures of some of those books...

There you go, hope you like them! There is nothing so overwhelming as standing in the upstairs room of a crowded bookstore and looking at the floor to ceiling books and thinking about each one seperately. Like, each of these books could be a 'life's work' or a major achievement in someone's life. I heard all the voices and pens scratching and frustrated sighs and saw the moment if inspriation light up someone's eye - which I myself have felt - like a lightbulb being turned on. Crazy days!

blah blah blah

the other day i was on the train reading a graphic novel about zombies, the only problem was that it was an a4 sized book with big pictures and there were 3 nude scenes in the 45 minute journey. As it was a peak hour train there were people all around me and i felt as though they were checking out the nudity thinking i'm some kind of horny nerd. Plus sometimes the text goes really big like when someone is really angry and the words FUUUUCK YOOOUUU!!!!!!! or MOTHERRR FUCKKKERRRRR!!!! or ARRRRGGHHHH!!!! stand out quite a bit. When you are reading a novel and there is a sex scene you just roll with it. And if you start getting a little bit involved and find your nose touching the book, nobody REEEALLY knows what's going on. But if you find yourself with your nose pressed up against a nude couple in a sensual embrace in a post apocalyptic zombie town... then you're weird.


Actually that reminds me. I was reading these books by an author named Ryu Murakami. The first one i read was called "In the miso soup" and it was like a Japanese version of american psycho. Anyway some of the shit in that book was nasty and i was reading it on a crowded train thinking how lucky it was that people couldn't hear my thoughts. I'm talking decapitations and weird sex stuff. It's almost as weird as Crash by J.G Ballard *shudder*. Anyway my point is, i dont really have one but what the hell, i'm glad that "In the Miso Soup" wasn't a graphic novel. because it was very graphic. lol. end.

Lately I have been a bit obsessed with obentoos (japanese lunch boxes). I have one at home but have never used it! Then i stumbled across this website: http://www.justbento.com/ which has like 70 different bento menus even including vego and vegan recipes! I plan to start making these for lunch, but man it takes a lot of effort. I don't eat asian food every night so it's hard to just put leftovers with a bit of rice and some veg. I will get there. Mark my words, i will get there..