Celeb Crush: Rory Culkin

Is it just me... or is there something about Rory Culkin?

I saw Scream 4 a few weeks ago and developed a bit of a crush on the character Charlie, played by Rory Culkin. I know what it is too, the hair. The long hair, the nerdy vibe, and the sexual inexperience- despite his chiselled face and attractive features. I love that shit. I wanted to show Charlie how it's done. A few people have told me I could be a good teacher, so I am going to imagine this is what they had in mind when they said that. Teaching skinny shy boys how to party (strictly in my imagination of course).

This all makes me recall the days when Josh and I were courting. Ahhh, those were the days indeed! There was me; the born and bred tom-boy trying to correct myself slowly by quitting skating, wearing more pearls and trying to learn how to rock a short hairdo without being mistaken (again) for a lesbian. And there was Josh- the skinny, shy, slightly nerdy guy with a chiselled jaw, Iron Maiden T-shirt, unrealised attractive features and hair longer than mine. A match made in heaven- well, at least that's what Wes Craven seemed to think when casting Charlie and Kirby!

Anyway, those were fun times. We would be walking down the street and someone would say "Excuse me, Miss?" and I'd turn around to respond, but they would be looking at Josh. Hmm... that was meant to be a joke but I have a feeling it could have actually happened.

This has always been a thing with me. You see, when I was a kid I went to Catholic Primary School, and in grade 3 we had to make First Holy Confession. I didn't have anything to confess so I made up a lie (as you do in confession...) that I had sinned by fighting with my brothers. The priest couldn't see me, and asked how many brothers I had. I told him two. He resonded "Wow, THREE boys? Your mum must have her hands full!" and my tiny but apparently gruff voice responded ".....I'm a girl...." to which he apologised. One other time I was getting my hair dyed and my housemate said I looked like my dad when I don't wear make-up. Oh god. It seems I've had to try extra hard to be noticed as a girl in this life. Perhaps that's why I overcompensate by wear pencil skirts and bust-enhancing tops? Who knows...

Anyway, I can be a little rough and Josh can be a little soft but we work pretty nicely together. For example, tonight I will be going to his place to drink beers and watch a doco about Grizzly bears (which I am promised has some gruesome fight and kill scenes) but maybe tomorrow we will be drinking tea together and i will be asking him which colour shoe looks best with my new skirt and knowing that I will get the correct answer.

I don't know what this has to do with Rory Culkin anymore, but I think the lesson is clear: I can't stick to a topic, but the result is still pretty entertaining. And Rory Culkin is awesome and why are there so many Culkins?

lovely love

Ladies and gents, that envelope contains the first love letter I ever wrote to my Josh- back on February 14th (that's right) 2005. wow :) I think I explained this before - how we weren't quite dating and he didn't know my feelings were reciprocal until I gave him this letter. It was one of my most anxious moments sitting beside him as he read through it.

Now, as you know, I am quite a creative person and always have to be doing something. Before the blog (and you) got all my creative attention... there was Josh. I suppose you could say he was my muse. I wrote stories, comics, poems, letters, drawings and little love notes by the bucket-load. Actually, more like... by the BOX load- as he stored them in some gift boxes and shoe boxes. I realised not long ago that he didn't seem to have those sacred documents anymore. He explained they were still in the wardrobe of his old bedroom at his Mum's house. You could imagine my shock. I had to retrieve them before they became house-hold reading material. I had this horrible mental image of his mum and sister perusing the collection over breakfast going "Ooh, here's a good one!". I didn't want them to know exactly which parts of Josh I liked best, expressed via the art of poetry. I didn't REALLY write a penis poem or anything like that, but there are some fairly incriminating documents. Here are some pics of the more creative and less sickening displays of my affection..


 I made this booklet for Josh when he got Chicken Pox in 2005. We had only been dating for a few months and I wasn't allowed to visit him as his house was a disease-ridden quarantine zone. I'm pretty sure his brother and sister both had the pox too. Josh was 18 at this point so it hit him pretty hard. He was zonked out on Phenergan for about 2 weeks and I didn't hear from him. Of course I was freaked out and thought he was dying. Always melodramatic. When I got finally in touch with him he could remember reading the messages but then fell asleep for 3 days or something and forgot about them. What a relief. My boyfriend was now a junkie :) Here's a picture i stuck in there of us 'just as friends' at a dress up party in early 2005.

I love his embarrassed smile- it slowly rises from one corner like a fish-hook pulling at his lip :) I used to call it "The Hook" naturally. Below is a pirate book I made for some anniversary. Maybe like 74th day anniversary or something ridiculous like that.

When Josh tried to grow his first full beard I noticed the red hairs in it that I'd never noticed before- so came the name "Captain Red Beard". OMG check this out...

That's me nearly 6 years ago in full Pirate garb :) Anyway part of the reason I went through all the letters and drawings was because our 6 year anniversary is coming up this month and I was feeling nostalgic. As you can imagine, we toned down the amount of letters and gifts to one another and now do Birthdays, Yearly Anniversaries and Christmas only. It was getting insanely time consuming and it almost became this intense game of One-Upmanship that saw us colouring in pictures at 3am by lamp-light. I remember one Birthday Josh made me close my eyes while he put the finishing touches on a card he was making me. DRAW FOR ME JOSH, DRAWWWWW *whip-crack*

It is nice to look back on all that stuff, and it's also interesting to read what I had to say back then. I feel like I have been through a lot in the last 6 years have been doing lots of soul searching lately as I feel like I have changed beyond belief. Reading the letters, it is just clear to me now that I am still the same Jade... I just have a more busy and complicated life so I kinda live for myself and don't make a million presents all the time. I get too caught up in the trivial dramas of day-to-day life and forget birthdays until a week prior - not enough time to make comics. I would like to do more nice things for others this year - hopefully i can share this with y'all :)

crush on wheels

Hot Patootie - Bless My Soul! I Really love that Rock and/or Roll! That, ladies and gentlemen, is a sample of Meatloaf's characterisation of "Eddie" in the Rocky Horror Picture Show mixed with a bit of Reverend Lovejoy from the Simpsons. I am, make no mistake, a literary DJ.

So anyway, last night as I was still sick so I decided I had to try to make myself feel better otherwise i would wallow in the murky grey depths of my ill depression. ILL as in SICK - not to be mistaken with late 90's african american slang term often preceded by 'yo, that's...' and followed by 'man/dawg', and SICK as in 'physically unwell' - not to be mistaken with popular slang term meaning 'good'. Surely no alternate meaning can be taken from that one.

So anyway, one weird thing with my cold is that I am super-human hungry, like upending a school bus and shaking the children loose into my slobbering maw hungry. But seriously, if i don't eat regularly i start shaking and find it hard to even walk. Weird. Plus there is ACTUAL grumbly in my tumbly. Winne the Pooh was RIGHT, god damn it!!! The clever son'bitch. I seriously can't remember the last time my stomach growled and squeaked and gurgled.... it would certainly have been after a considerable amount of time between meals - not like yesterday when it was maybe 3 hours after my last meal. I'm starting to think there may be an alien inside of me syphoning all of my energy and nutrients. Maybe it's a teratoma hidden somewhere in my body, who knows. But I did just read an article on teratomas on Monday and I do tend to relate everything i read to some component of my own life, so I am pretty sure I am just imagining things. Pretty sure...

What the fuck am I talking about!? No more tumor talk, I am telling you about my evening. So due to my need to feed i defrosted some pasta sauce i had made last week (yay - go me!) and had a hearty bowl of vegie pasta while I watched THREE, count 'em, THREE episodes of Spongebob SQUAREPANNNTTTSS! That always makes me happy!

After that, I watched some cooking shows (Food Safari and Master Chef) but whilst flicking around on the ad break I stumbled across Glee. It has been on for ages and I have never watched it. I suddenly realised that the sweet wheelchair guy on glee was cute. I found myself sitting up on the couch (i was previously laying down with a pillow and blanket) smiling. I think it's that slight nerdy emo look...the glasses, cardigans and side-swept fringe. He reminds me of a waaay hotter version of Howard from the Big Bang Theory.





Haha, that's him as his Glee character Arty. So watching TV, I suddenly had this daydream play in my head of befriending him and helping to re-build his self esteem while slowly developing an unlikely crush on him and then seducing him and doing a strip tease for him and end up giving him the night of his life in that very chair. After that, we'd be officially a couple and I'd spend my days fighting off criticism and strange looks, and I'd cook so much food for him that he would become obese and then there would be some sort of Dr. Phil style show filming us because I am suddenly classified as a "feeder" and am ruining his chances of ever walking again, or of not developing diabetes. Well most of that I made up right then, but you get the picture. The actor is not disabled - in fact he is a fantastic dancer! He has this slightly too high tooth to face ratio that I like, as below:

well Tim's (Rise Against) teeth are under control there, but I get the vibe still. Speaking of which, Tim still hasn't made it to my wall at work. oops, sorry Tim :P

Anyway I found out that "Kevin McHale" used to be in a 4 piece RnB boyband called "NLT" haha.. they look... awesome...

Did you know!....That because of his passion for dance, he finds it quite difficult to keep his legs still in the chair while singing on Glee. There you go. I am still deciding if he will make it to my wall of boys at work. I don't want to be too hasty - it has only been a 12 hour crush...what is this, Primary School? I might watch an episode next week and see how i feel. Hmm, I dunno...he was in a boy band afterall! Below is my wall at work. As you can see I have all the boys who make me happy to think about/watch/listen to. Spongebob, Josh, The Mars Volta, R-Pattz, Jackson Rathbone, and Chester. There are many more but I can't spend too long changing up my desk cos questions get asked. I have a few pics in the waiting bay, don't you worry :) This wall keeps the other girls at work entertained too!

Anyway, I was running a bath while Glee was on because I thought the soak would help soothe and relax my poor sick body and clear my sinuses (I had to wait until Glee was finished before I went in though because i was strangely hooked to see the outcome). So I have this habit where I put on some old music while i lay in the bath with candles lit and just relax. First it was Billy Holiday, then Ella Fitzgerald, then Roy Orbison and last night Frank Sinatra. The funny thing is, each time I am in the dark bathroom with that nice music wafting in from my adjoining bedroom I always think of some epic movie suicide scene juxtaposed with sweet and happy songs. It sort of freaks me out a little bit, but mostly i just giggle at the images my overactive imagination throws at me. Like one night Hayden and Maki will wonder why Frank Sinatra has been looping for 4 hours and I'm not answering them when they knock on the bathroom door, and they won't want to open it because they realise i'm probably naked and they don't want to embarrass me or themselves. Ok enough of that. I'll never be able to listen to old music in the bath again. Shit. Any better suggestions?

Do you want to know something else that freaks me out? Leather Gloves. Everytime I see someone in the city with leather gloves I immediately picture that person strangling someone. I get this American Psycho/Christopher Walken in Batman Forever vibe from them and seriously I steer clear. You'll see what I mean. You'll see.

Anyway after last night, I feel better. I still am sick, and peeps at work are still razzin' me about it. They are all claiming that they are suddenly sick because of me. I can tell the difference between a fake and a real cough... i can tell. The best news is that my tastebuds are back and I am going to enjoy my dinner tonight SOOOOOO much, and hopefully have a great weekend full of smelling and tasting lots of different things! can't wait!!

200thpostextravaganza

OK KIDS, GRAB YOUR SUNDAY BEST, IT'S TIME TO CELEBRATE!!!!! This post is a momentous one for it is the 200th post I have written here on subarashiiblog!!!!!!!!!!! Hoorayzzzzz! If i discount all the shit posts that you read and think "......why?" then maybe this is only my 60th or something haha. First before I get down to business, I'd like to say something to everyone:
yay! Thank you for reading! I have always loved writing and this is a great outlet for my fetish, and it's even better that you seem to enjoy it! I just can't, i just can't, i just can't stop typing weeeee! Maybe i'll move to a town where the local priest won't let people blog or write, and then I'll corrupt the town and they can make a movie about me, and in the final scene i'll be typing furiously to 80's tunes in some dingy LAN party that I help organise, and then it freezes on me picking my nose or something. PRINT IT! That's what people say yeah? Print it? *shrug*

OK, this post is indeed an extravaganza, however I like to think of it as more of a... Rat King:




I heard about this for the first time on 30 Rock, it's basically a tangled mess of rats that get stuck together and join into one giant ball of disease infested rodents. hot.

The first diseased rat in this rat king post is this:


On the weekend i was doing a little vaccuming and saw that the 1981 version of Clash of the Titans was on TV. I saw the new one last week so i thought i'd check it out. It is so corny!!! They have like claymation monsters. Above is medusa! She looks a little different to the one in the new movie - the one Hayden thinks is hot. haha.

SECOND!!! I saw my childhood idol Pauly Shore do dome stand up on Saturday night:

wow! Poor guy is a little washed up these days and kept making jokes about it which was le awkward. I was going to stick around after the show as he was signing pictures and taking photos etc, but there were sooo many people in line- half of whom were drunk bogan skanks and I really didn't feel like hanging out amongst them. Plus I would have been so nervous to meet him that words would have failed me and I would have looked like a rabbit in the headlights in the picture!

THIRD! I got to cooking and made some VEGAN CARROT GNOCCHI for dinner last night. Let's watch:

While I made the gnocchi, Hayden made the pesto. That's a victory pose there in the background.

then Hayden demonstrated his ability to wear Chester like a scarfe. Surely this goes against some sort of Vegan code??

once you have boiled the carrots, you have to sautee them with a bit of onion. Once that's done you BLEND:

then add some flour until you have a dough-like consistency

Then roll out into thin tubes and cut into little gnocchis

here are my gnocchi:

Then you have to boil them a few at a time until they float. Then I plunged them into the icy depths of some icy water. Then i ROASTED them:

Then I added them to the pesto sauce...

voila!

truth is... they were pretty rich. I followed a recipe that said it served 4. However when i looked at the amount of gnocchi, I was horrified to find it only looked like 2 serves. Luckily for me Josh and Maki didn't want to eat. So Hayden and I got some wine glasses of green cordial (i call it toxic sludge) and filled our bowls with delicious pesto carrot gnocchi and started eating rather enthusiatically. that only lasted a few mouthfuls because the carrots were so sweet that it became rather overpowering. Josh ended up eating a bit of mine, and Hayden only got through maybe half of his small bowl before we were all full and couldn't eat any more. Maybe next time i'll stick to plain old potato gnocchi. Or maybe just strand pasta - myyyyyyyy favourite! :D

FOURTH! Josh said that in 1 month I can shave part of his head! YAY! Today he started his 1 month teaching placement at a local Primary School, so he said it will have to wait until after that. I am quite excited because I happen to dig partially-shaved head/mohawk type do's. Exhibits A through C:

Exhibit A: Tim McIlrath (singer of Rise Against). I have a mad crush on this man... *sigh*

Exhibit B) Robert de Niro in Taxi Driver (1976) - coolest he's ever looked..

Exhibit C) I'm saving the best til last here... Jackson Rathbone (aka Jasper from Twilight)

Helllooooooo Jackson! *wink* haha I'm still in crush territoty with this guy. I wish he looked more like this in the movies, and not so Edward Scissorhands-ish. A girl can dream...

Josh was thinking of shaving his head completely anyway, so he is seemingly enthusiastic about this epic shave-off idea of mine. The only problem now is that he has started talking again about ME shaving my head (or part of it). he never lets up about this. I happen to think i could 100% NOT pull off this hairdo. I once tried a straight fringe and was mortified at how bad that was.... i don't think i can deal with a shaved head. I think i would have to be in ultra skinny territory to rock that look and that is not going to happen as i love my food and lady lumps waaay too much :)

In my search for pictures of Tim McIlrath, i found this one which made me laugh:

haha, looks like he is about to shit out a chainsaw, or a stream of monsters! He would still be awesome.

Well guys thanks for reading this, my 200th post, and may Edward Cullen be with you...

Stay tuned for more cool postssss! I have some great ideas a-brewin!

omg...

guess what?

aaahhh!!! Remember last week i finally caved in to Peer Pressure and borrowed a copy of twilight?? Well i started reading it on Saturday morning in my hammock. I had only read but 2 chapters before i had to go out and i was already CRUSHING on edward cullen hard. what the fuckkkk. this book is like drugz, man. it tickles the erogenous zones of the teenage girl inside me, and it goes to all those places i dreamed i could have gone to when i was 16 or whatever age the protagonist is! some mysterious dark and handsome stranger at my new school suddenly taking an interest in me... and wanting to ravage my flesh... in my dreams!

Anyway I had a fairly busy weekend so couldn't smash through it like i so wanted to, but i am over half way now and i dont ever want to stop reading it. it is only a matter of time before i get one of those t-shirts for real. and you know the funny thing... i never found robert pattinson appealing THAT much and lol'd when someone said his face was like a foot. But now... now... i would do things to that man. haha. listen to me, i'm giddy with teenage sexual frustration. i guess its lucky for josh that i'm reading this book huh? I have to channel my feelings somewhere right, or it will be just like highschool all over again! HAha i have said too much. But that's ok. I have been watching "Peep Show" lately and am loving the inappropriate 1st person perspective internal monologue. Brilliant. They say/think things you perhaps have thought but never admitted to yourself or put into words. Anyway, must fly! Got some sweet sweet twilight to read on the way home. Let's hope for once that there are severe train delays and i get to read more!! ^_^

blog crush

well folks, i have to admit it. I have a blog crush. I have been obsessed with this blog lately called Vegan for the People which is written by 33 year old Mike K from the US. Here is Mike on a farm...

And here is a carrot gnocchi with pesto sauce which he made... among many other delicious vegan things...

He preserves and bakes and cooks and has cool pets and i think his family have a farm so he takes cool pictures of the farm. yep. I am a bit obsessed. Even though he is 10 years my senior. and I am in a 5 year relationship. and he lives on the other side of the world. BESIDES i just want to hang out and cook food with him, geez! and maybe one day feature in his blog!

.

Anyway, speaking of obsession... my cousin Bec is obsessed with my blog (yay!) and she called me the other day giggling about my Kevin Bacon rant. She said she couldn't believe I had an ex who resembled him and was nicknamed "Bacon". It is true. I thought about it today and thought EVEN THOUGH i don't want to be his friend on facebook, I want to look him up. And what do you know... he got into the spirit of Doppleganger week too. (Click Picture to read text)

I don't know who #1 is, but apparently we have a mutual friend. There you go. #2 aka the REAL "bacon" has a mutual friend with me too - my younger brother. Because YES he was younger than me. I was a teenage cougar. Oh dear i feel sick. Anyway don't ask me why his name is listed as "Matteo" cos he is true blue aussie, i guess he was just wanking with both hands when he was filling in his profile details, thus having to mash his head on the keyboard in order to type then did a clever typo... who knows?

Also if you notice in the above picture what i am looking at in the other tab. hehe. oh dear.

raspberry crush

no, i'm not talking about a deliciously refreshing icy drink, I am talking about the crush i have on Rupert Grint aka Ron Weasley. Am I ashamed? kind of. Am I surprised at myself? Fuck yes. After the years of endless jokes and taunts, I have found myself at age 22 with a teenage crush on none other than a fanta pants, the easiest target for my childish sense of humour. I am also generally surprised to actually have a 'celebrity crush'... as it has been a pretty long time! but look at him... he's got a heath ledger smile going on (dont get me started on heath)...

*sigh* oh my god... i am shocking myself with every word. So anyway I have been reading an excessive amount of Harry Potter lately, I finished the last book a few days ago and saw movie #6 last night! So if anything this crush is just a circumstantial thing, and it is a product of my environment - that which is living and breathing harry potter... Josh's opinion on the matter is simple... "Why don't you marry him then?!". I ask myself the same thing sometimes late at night when i am trying to slip a red wig on the sleeping form of my boyfriend.

anyhow, now that i have aired that dirty laundry, I feel the need to reflect upon my other big celebrity crushes over the years - the ones i can remember anyway. Going back to school days... my memory is hazy, probz all those recreational drugs i was taking that have fried my memory circuits. I remember these faces...

These faces featured a lot in my life in the late 90's. there were more... oh yes many more. i was starting to find myself alarmed at just how many crushes i had at, like... 12 years old or whatever. yikes man. i didnt want to put them all up. Anyway, i find my later taste is scarily all total DILFs... johnny depp, brad pitt, duchovny, cillian murphy (with facial hair or no deal). hmm cant think of more atm.

Wow reading back over this post i sound like a dog on heat, jesus christ. Well... just documenting my thoughts, i'm totally going to regret this post next week. Fuck.