Writing Revolution!

Hey all my lovely readers! I have some exciting news! You may already know this, but I have begun working with a cool website named "The Milk Bar Mag". I know a cool guy who writes for them and asked how he got involved, and he showed me the way! I e-mailed the cool Editor Dan a link to this very blog, and he seems to think I am also cool enough to get involved in the site! Cool, huh?

I think I will be mainly writing restaurant reviews for the Western Suburbs and around the Queen Victoria Market- both my stomping grounds! I will be testing out all the local cafes which are undiscovered little treasures! My first review was published yesterday entitled "Lunch In The Urban Jungle" and my next one will be up next week :) I am also currently researching my 3rd review :) woo!

So, not only have I been doing this, I am also pushing myself to review other things like movies and CD's on Ctrl-X and they sent me two movies and a CD to review last week. My deadline was Sunday so I spent a lot of my spare time listening, watching, researching and writing. I haven't done something like that since high school! Back then I wasn't very good at reviewing and god bad marks for it so I thought it might be empowering to conquer that fear now. I submitted reviews of Jebediah's new album Kosciuszko, the Edward Norton/Robert De Niro movie "Stone" and the martial arts film "Ip Man: The Legend is Born". So yes, they must have trusted my name or something to send me 3 things without ever working with me before. The ultimate test! I feel confident, apparently they liked the Jebediah review so we'll see.

I have my creative writing class tonight too, so you can see what's on the brain all the time hey? I also am going to be writing some poems soon, visiting a vegetarian restaurant soon, and next week will be doing my volunteer work! Woo! Also, I will be doing some cooking on this amazing long weekend I have coming up. Stay tuned :D

Sleep Deprivation Experiment

For some reason, I wanted to beat my measly record of 33 hours without sleep. This is the reason I put the item on my bucket list "Do not sleep Friday or Saturday night" - I was aiming for 48 hours of waking. I can only assume I was on crack when I decided this and as you can see, I have been avoiding this list item ever since. Well, I finally decided to go for it on Friday. Let me set the scene of my last attempt.

About 6 years ago some buddies and I were talking over MSN and decided not to sleep that night and reconvene the following day at the Nip/Tuck-athon. So we went out seperate ways and did our thing. My only memory of the night was sitting in my bedroom with my back against the bed watching TV all night. If I felt tired I would get up and go for a walk and have some watery coffee. Somehow I made it through the night and caught up with Josh in the morning and we walked from his house to Simon's house to commence the Nip/Tuck-athon. I struggled not to faint or vomit on the walk, and was surprised to find the walk revived me. When I arrived at Simon's, I found out that both Simon and Corey had fallen asleep and were feeling quite defeated. Simon had tried to listen to Iron Maiden to stay awake but instead Bruce serenaded him to sleep. They were trying to get me to fall asleep so my record number of hours wasn't too high, so they had prepared a mattress on the floor with pillows and blankets for me to sit on and watch Nip/Tuck. I stayed awake all day watching episode after episode, and even hallucinated seeing a cat in the room. I can't remember what time I fell asleep but the record was 33 hours. Not really much when you think about it.
I saw a documentary on SBS about sleep deprivation a while ago and the host decided to test himself out, so he hung out with this man who held a sleep deprivation record. The host lost his mind slowly, his appearance became unkempt and he was sitting under a tree at night trying to stay awake and started talking jibberish. It was a very interesting doco. So I suppose I wanted to attempt it again but record what I think and feel seeing as I couldn't remember the last time.

So Friday morning I got up at 7:00am and went to work. It wasn't until half-way through the day that I decided I might as well just try it. The original plan was to just go 1 night and then the following weekend go for 2 nights. I didn't think I could go the double straight away. I should also preface this sleep deprivation account by explaining another intention for the weekend. I have been doing a creative writing course and I thought that the extra hours of waking would allow me to write some quality stuff and also get through the pile of books I had to read. This was the main thing I wanted to achieve over the weekend, and as long as I beat my record I was happy. I thought I could kill 2 birds with one stone and also use the time to get to know my new kitten Peanut:

What a cute little gal! So here is a kind of time-line of how my weekend went...


Friday

7:00am- Woke up
8:30am- 5:00pm- Work
5:00pm- After work drinks. Wondered if the pint of beer would put me to sleep on the train ride home.
6:39pm- Got the train heading home
7:30pm- Dinner at mum's place - had some red wines - again wondered if i was sabotaging myself.
8:30pm- Left mum's with my brothers. Stopped into my place to visit the new cat - the house was empty so there was no stimuli.
9:00pm- Went to dad's place to hang out with my brother/dad.
9:32pm- Starting to feel tired already.
9:34pm- My first yawn. Got out my Baby Box(es) from the roof to go through and look at all my old school work and stories etc.

Grade 6 Jumper, still fits. Somehting is so wrong with that...



"I can make people into snakes" from Grade Prep...



No idea what the hell this is about. It is an anti-racism thing I think. I hope.

SATURDAY

1:20am- Got back home from Dad's, played with Peanut and did the dishes. If I sit down it will be all over.


1:30am- The house is too quiet, put the tv on. Flicking through the channels I see "Desperately Seeking Susan" with Madonna in her 'Like a Virgin' style garb, "Barber Shop 2" and Entourage. I really don't like Entourage. I got told by a male friend that it's like the male equivalent of Sex and the City, so I can't talk too much trash on it. All I will say though is that I can't stand Kevin Dillon. He looks like a mix between his brother and Kevin Bacon. I'm not exactly a fan or either, and the combo is just disturbing. I saw a movie on one channel called "One Nite in Mongkok" which made me laugh. Not only because of the dirty sounding name, but also because I found out Mongkok is the name for Hong Kong's Red Light district. This is made even funnier because there is a restaurant in Adelaide called Mongkok where my cousin Bec had her birthday dinner! I turn over to rage and watch some videos. Eventually I put on Skins to watch, and Maki comes home around 2.30 or 3:00am and we get to talking.

3:00am- Eat some boiled vegetables for my second dinner.
4:00am- Maki goes to bed and I make myself a coffee and put on "High Tension" to write a film review for practice.

4:30am- I feel the muscles in my face acting of their own accord and they feel as though they want to be slack and rest. Some time later I write that my knuckles and joints hurt because I am not giving my body a chance to rest.

4:45am- I write that Red-heads like Mike Bailey (Sid from Skins) and Rupert Grint (Ron Weasley) are the kind of Red-heads that I'm attracted to. The colouration of their skin, and lips is the key.

5:37am- I have an intense internal monologue going on. I am having a conversation in my head and there is a running commentary of everything I see. For example: "Ok, here is the plan. I will go over here and clean this thing, and after that I'll go into my room and.....". I also feel a bit nauseous for the first time.

5:49am- Feel the first waves of physical tiredness: shivers or goosebumps washing over me.

5:59am- I heard a car engine start - people are going to work now. My eyes don't want to focus on anything, and blinking is becoming dangerous. My hands are going numb and I need more oranges. (?)

6:08am- Decide to wax and do some beauty treatments like a facial and manicure to stay awake. Sitting is not working out for me.

6:43am- Eating an orange. Decide I cannot possibly go to bed now, I have way too much to do. I have gotten my 3rd wind, and Peanut has gotten her 27th. This cat never stops!! Walking from the kitchen to the bathroom I think I see a man standing near the hallway. It was a jolt that woke me up even more.

6:58am- I heard my first morning warble, I'm racing the sun.

7:02am- Thought I heard a knock at the bathroom door. Starting to feel paranoid. Luckily the sun is coming up and the shadows are retreating. I have made it 24 hours.

7:08am- Kind of missed the sunrise. I'm sitting in the middle of the backyard on a chair staring at the sky. The air is so fresh and I can hear a shrill cricket to my right, and a bird chippering away in the tree above the cricket.

7:17am- Decide to have a shower to welcome the new day. Have to decide whether or not to change my clothes. Will it be good to make a clear distinction between one day and the next? I change my t-shirt and underwear but nothing else.

8:14am- I realise I have so much reading and writing to do today and can really get heaps done. If my kitten still has energy after a night of no sleep then surely I will be fine also. I clean the rangehood.

9:01am- Peanut put herself to bed. Turncoat!!

Decide to watch some TV - I watch Hannah Montana where she has writers block - how fitting!


10:15am- Decide to do a load of washing and put on Six Feet Under in my room. I'm kneeling my the mirror doing my hair and make-up and watching it in the reflection. Each episode goes for 1 hour so I think this could be my ticket to victory!

12:00pm noon- Josh arrives. He starts work at 1:00pm and finishes at 6:30pm. I tried to convince him to not sleep Saturday night with me... but he wasn't interested seeing as he had work at 7:00am the next day.

1:00pm - Josh is gone, Maki has gotten up and we go to get KFC for lunch. I know I will regret eating this.

I am trying to write my film review up into a coherent body of text, but my brain isn't working and i feel myself relaxing and fading into sleep as I sit at the laptop.

4:43pm- This is the worst I have felt. Sore, tired, no motivation to do anything at all, and cannot even write or read.

5:00pm- Walk to the shops to buy a pumpkin
5:30pm- Start cooking dinner. Cooking is a good task that takes up time.

6:30pm- Josh gets home and has a shower as I finish making the curries. He says I look sick. I'm not even offended because I know he is right.

8:30pm- Josh reminds me that it is daylight savings and I wind my clock back one hour. It's only 7:30pm now. What a blow.
We eat the curries sitting in my bed watching Peep Show. I am barely capable of laughter even though I know it is funny. I am not tired and don't want to sleep, I'm just a shell of a person. My brain is not even allowing me to plan things I could do to kill time. I have never been so literally in the moment. The cats are fighting and hissing at each other and I lose my temper and start going a bit hysterical. Josh suggests I have a shower and calm down. In the shower I realise that I haven't really written anything, my bookmark is still in the same place it was on Friday morning, and I am incapable of feeling any joy. I count the hours of waking: 39. I then make the decision to go to bed. I thought at least I could get some stuff done on Sunday.

In hindsight, it's hard to say if I succeeded or failed. I succeeded in beating my record but I failed at producing anything good except for a notebook full of rambling incoherent handwriting, a clean rangehood, a clean dishwasher, and a few less weeds in the garden. If anything I was less productive than usual on a weekend. The staying awake doesn't really bother me but the frustration of not accomplishing much really in my free time does. I am going to say that my curiosity is satisfied for now, I have increased my waking limit, the list item is more or less accomplished, and now I have some serious writing and reading to do before tomorrow's writing class *eep*

oh what a night!

why hello there! Care for a story? Well first let me give you a synopsis:

Jade Kelly takes us on a magical and fearsome journey in which we see her scale barbed wire fences and run through paddocks with a flashlight and a box of Whiskas cat food in the frantic search for her beloved cat Chester.

Intrigued? Thought not. Haha. Anywhom I will tell you the story nonetheless. Last night started out as normal as any other night. I arrived home and complained about being hungry while i stood alternatingly in front of the fridge and pantry thinking of what to make for dinner. I had gotten one step further than usual... this time I knew vaguely what I wanted: Japanese. I couldn't be bothered going to the supermarket to buy fancy things so I improvised. I cooked up some rice, made a quick salad, got a can of tuna, defrosted 3 Gyoza from the batch I made, and got out a block of dry tofu I had bought that day. Here's what I ended up with:



It was amazing. I am a huge fan of tofu cooked in this way. I made a quick marinade of white miso, mirin and sesame oil and rubbed it all over, then put it on the grill pan. The little black lines were simply the charred marinade, and it was delicious! Maki tried some and said it tasted like a big pancake. It was yum! After I ate Maki suggested we go for a quick walk before Bear Grylls started at 8.30pm, so we got on our walking shoes and set off. Only problem was that Chester started following us. Usually he gets scared after a while and turns back and goes home. This time he followed us further than ever before.

There is a park at the end of the street, and usually he doesn't like going in. This time, maybe because there were 2 of us, he followed us all the way in about 20 meters behind meowing because he was frightened, then a dog saw him and charged. Instead of the normal cat reaction of "GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE QUICK!!" He just crouched down and watched the dog run at him and circle him barking. I yelled out but he didn't react. The owner sauntered over and explained that 'Nitro' wouldn't hurt a fly. They had this weird mexican standoff where the both just lay staring at each other. The owner thought it was really funny because his dog was wagging it's tail indicating it wanted to play, but Chester was not reacting at all. He said that his dog thought Chester was a dog too.

We kept walking and thought Chester would turn back, but he kept coming, his little bell jingling. It was soon to the point where he had followed us so far that we couldn't be bothered cutting our walk short just to take him home - we should have done that ages ago if we were going to do it at all. So we decided we'd just keep walking and he could follow his scent backwards and go home as he had done before, albeit over a shorter distance. After a while he stopped following and we climbed through a fence and did a lap of the school oval then walked back home waiting to see him rolling around in the yard at 8.30pm - perfectly timed to watch Bear Grylls from my lap.

This wasn't so. He was nowhere. So we grabbed torches and his cat food box and set off again. We got aaaall the way to the schoolground again and saw this weird tent/rubbish pile thing and 2 shiny little eyes staring back at us from a distance. We thought it might be him so i shook the cat food box again (this is a proven way of communicating with him) and heard his bell jingling. 'What a relief!' i thought, 'He can hear us now, he will come over here and we can go home!'. WRONG. The problem was he was fenced in this paddock by a barbed wire fence, with that and a canal seperating us from him. We crossed the bridge over the canal and Maki jumped the fence abandoning his flashlight. I was standing there trying to light his way and illuminate Chester's eyes so we could keep track of him. Mel called me because Maki had left his phone at home and was meant to let her in so she could pick up something. I told her what was going on, and said I had the spare key to the house with me and that we wouldn't be long. I was wrong.

Eventually Maki got Chester and carried him back to the fence, and when they were about 1 meter away a noise spooked Chester and he used Maki's neck as a starting block and took off back into the paddock. Maki tried for another 10 minutes to get him from the tall weeds near the fence but there were dogs barking and he was freaked out by everything- including us. We got another near success when we coaxed him to about 5 meters from the fence and then this band of Mauri teens came along. One on a bike, one with a flashlight, another had a girl on his shoulders, and then there were a few others playing music from their phone and singing and laughing. Chester ran off again as they approached. Maki asked them nicely to keep it down as we were trying to find a scared cat. "Sorry bru" one said. "Shh, they're trying ta find tha ket!" another said.

After it seemed Maki was having trouble again, I slid my phone, keys, flashlight, and cat food under the fence and climbed up and over. I got pricked by the barbed wire (luckily it was old and dull) and it ripped a few holes in my newish bonds track pants. I traded places with Maki and went after Chester, he just kept walking away from me. I grabbed him by the scruff of the neck and could almost hear the victory bells ringing as I walked back to the fence with him seemingly calm. Well, he was calm until Maki climbed back over the chain fence and the noise freaked him out. I had to clamp his front paws in my hand and crush his body to mine as he was trying to buck out of my grip. Maki was over and beckoned me to the end of the fence where there was a small gap enough for a cat to be passed through. I lost hold of him 3 times standing in that corner, grabbing him by a fistful of skin and fur each time to drag him back. First time by the scruff, then his back, then his side. I have never handled him so roughly before and didn't really even realise what I was doing to him, or what he was doing to me with his claws. Eventually i got him under control and threw him through the gap. He was going too crazy for Maki to grab him. He hit the ground running and bolted off into the night with Maki in hot pursuit. I suddenly found myself on the wrong side of the fence with both flashlights... again. I went up and over, tearing a few more holes in my butt, and could only blindly guess which direction they went. Luckily it was towards home. Chester seemed to kind of know the right way to go...

I snuck back through the gap in the other barbed wire fence on the other side of the bridge and walked back along the canal toward home. I heard Maki's voice about 1/3 of the way along. He was crouched beside a mass of tangled vine which had been growing on someone's back fence and taken it down many years ago. Chester had cleverly got himself nestled right in the middle of the tangled mess and was meowing for assistance. It was then that I saw the blood all over my hands and felt the stinging for the first time. We crouched there panting for a few minutes trying to get Chester to come toward our voices. Maki went home with the spare key to let Mel in because we had kept her waiting in our driveway for ages, thinking we'd be back soon. I was now alone with both flashlights and no communication with Maki as he didn't have his phone. Chester's meows seemed to be getting closer after about 5-10 minutes of me coaxing him toward me, and finally he stuck his head out to sniff my finger and i grabbed him by the scruff HARD and drabbed his limp body out. Cats freeze up when you grab them like that, it's strange. I thought for sure he would claw my face off and run off again but I think he had calmed down a bit seeing as we were away from cars and barking dogs. I held him against me and pocketed the flashlights and was awkwardly carrying the cat food too. I could have just left the stuff there and gone back for it, but nooo I always do things the hard way. I was praying that he didn't get spooked and bolt so i quickly called Mel to tell her I found him and was on my way back.

I was almost near the park when Maki appeared out of the dark and grabbed the food and a torch so I could clutch Chester with both hands. He could hear cars near the park and was trying to get away again. I was giving him the old "Don't you dare pull this shit now, not again!" lecture. Part of me thought if I let him get away he would follow us home seeing as he knew the park...but then I visualised him up a tree and clutched him harder. I could tell that he knew his location when we emerged from the park and stepped into our quiet street. I had his belly against my chest, back legs sprawled like a frog and had his head and front paws clamped down to my shoulder. Once we got inside and into the light, I put him down and watched as he casually strolled to his food bowl and had a feast of water and Whiskas which we had been shaking in his face for the past hour or so. While i inspected my wounds:

and looked for the dettol, he just lay down and didn't move for a while:

Does this look like a traumatised cat to you? No, not really... more tired. I worried that I had hurt his body by manhandling him, squashing his paws, grabbing his fur and skin, crushing him against me etc.. but he wasn't reacting when i pressed on his legs and back testing for pain. Also he had crazy dandruff all over his back from where i was grabbing him, and it was allll over my clothes, as well as half of his fur. So new rule in the house: Next time you go for a walk, lock Chester INSIDE! Little crazy cat. Needless to say, I slept like the dead and this morning got some strange looks on the train as my scratches and slices were still bright red :O

home movies

Readers, I have to tell you something huge. I saw myself get born last night... and when i say 'get born' I am not talking about the debut album of australian rock outfit "Jet". I actually watched myself messily exit my mother's vagina. I was not, as you may wonder, involved in a psychadelic hallucination but rather I dug out some family home movies and borrowed a VCR in order to view them. Let me explain why I did this.

Yesterday morning, I sat down on the train and started listening to a previously unheard This American Life podcast entitled "Home Movies". To put it simply: I was moved. There was a lady speaking about how she has maybe 10 seconds of film from when she was a baby, and thinks the lady in the footage is her natural mother. As she is adopted, she has no way of knowing except to compare posture and physical characteristics of her own to the mystery woman on film. It is so sad that she has nothing to look back on. My mum has a brother and a sister who were both adopted from seperate families. My auntie has reunited with her birth mother but my uncle has not had such luck. I think my nana has some footage of my mum and her siblings as kids but nobody has ever seen them due to... family issues i suppose you could call it. I am so excited to watch this footage one day, and I'm sure my mum, aunty and uncle are too - even more so. I really hope it is a possibility one day.

~ This American Life host Ira Glass (awesome) ~

On the podcast, another person spoke about how strange it is to see people as they were years ago, before divorce or any other major life changes affected them, perhaps back in the days when they could be described as 'happy'. It got me thinking about what things I could learn about myself and my family, or even what things had escaped my memory. I remembered that my dad has about 12 VHS tapes (spanning 1-2 hours each) of our family, and I couldn't believe how much gold that would contain. Even though as kids we watched these tapes quite regularly, it was not that interesting or shocking as we were so close to the age from the footage, and we usually just fast-forwarded to 'funny things' that we said or did. I now have little recollection of the contents of the tape, so I was quite excited.

I set it all up yesterday and inserted tape #1. The start of the tape was my mum in hospital in 1986 holding my older brother Brendan. My mum is roughly my age in this tape, and she hasn't changed much since, except for ditching the perm. I saw relatives who appeared younger than I had ever known them, even relatives who are now deceased. Shortly into the footage my dad's brother Steven (now deceased) and his wife and young baby come to visit the hospital room. They began talking about how they felt when their son was born. My Nana interjected to say that Steven was 'blinded with joy' when his son was born. Uncle Steven said "Yeah, and I was working on getting blinded in another sense." Nobody laughed. Maybe at this point it was already apparent that he was an alcoholic, which is sadly how I always knew him. He was an alcoholic (to the doctors protests) until the day he died. It was a strange sensation watching these old conversations, it was as though I was a time travelling fly on the wall. I was never meant to hear those words at that time, but through the magic of film I can. It was strange listening to my mum talk at my age, she sounded so naiive like she had so much to learn still, and so many life experiences ahead. She was always the one to teach me, and here she still hadn't learnt yet. The rest of the tape was conversations with other family friends and relatives which I watched for a while, but then curiosity got the better of me and I wanted to watch myself... my tapes.

I found tape 3 entitled "Baby #2" so I figured that's where I must come into the picture. I rewound the tape (it took forever - where was the scene selection function?) and pushed play. I instantly remembered finding this tape when I was a kid looking for footage of myself. The start of my tape is, well.. my birth. I freaked out of course and pushed stop/fast forward, then I realised that I could watch my first SECOND of life in the outside world. I pushed play and watched in semi-horror at the last 20 seconds of mum's labour and then my entrance into the world. I felt pretty ill watching it, but somehwere I felt lucky that I could actually see it - even if this is the only time. It is such a trip to watch yourself be born, I cannot fully explain. When i was a kid and found the tape I got scared and turned off the TV and went outside to play and repress repress repress the image of my mum's vag. I have no recollection of being born, or most of my first 4 or so years for that matter - so everything is new to me. I fast-forwarded all the hospital stuff cos my dad left the camera rolling while they cut the umbilical cord and pulled out the placenta etc etc. I couldn't stomach that stuff - it was way worse.

The next scene was me at a few days old. I was having a bath in the sink and my brother was sitting next to me dipping a turkey baster into the bubbles and getting crazily excited. My mum tried to take it from him after he poked me with it and then he tried to out-cry me. It was funny. Next I was in a basinette thing on the ground and my brother was patting me like a dog. You know how kids pat dogs with their palms open wide, fingers splayed and they kind of gently hit repeatedly...? that's what he was doing. my parents kept filming and laughing, and threw in the occasional "poor jade!". Then next they were encouraging him to "take the baby for a walk" around the kitchen, so he started pushing the basinette like a pram and when they screamed "READY SET GOOOO" in unison he would run and slam me into a wall or cupboard. Oh how they laughed. The only time he got into trouble was when he slammed me into the fridge. My parents were worried he would hurt the fridge.

Anyway, I have so much more to watch and learn about my past. All the things I know about my parents secret lives NOW... it makes me wonder if I can sense anything from the tapes. It is weird enough seeing my parents still together on the tapes (as they divorced maybe 4 years ago) not to mention actually happy. I know that sounds a bit depressing but it's true. Maybe they will be happy again soon. According to filmmaker Alan Berliner who spoke on the Home Movie podcast, usually the home movies stop around age 12 or so- whenever the kids are becoming teenagers and start being all surly and private. I'm not sure when our tapes stopped - I havent gotten that far, but I do remember covering my face alot in the later years because i was embarrassed to be filmed. Looking back now, I wish I hadn't done that. It must have upset my dad, who was trying to make a time capsule and can be heard on the tapes saying "One day you will want to look back on this..." to which I'm sure in the later years I would have rolled my eyes.

PS. I just donated $20 towards the continuation of 'This American Life' which I have been meaning to do ever since I listened to my first podcast. I feel good. :)

Urban Exploration

Apparently this is going on everywhere. I never knew a term existed until yesterday, and now it is all I can think about. Wikipedia explains that Urban Exploration (aka UE or urbex) is a worldwide hobby in which people enter (often illegally) abandonments, active buildings, catacombs, sewers and storm drains, and transit or utility tunnels in order to look around and take photos. This hobby comes with rules too; you are not supposed to break, vandalise, or change anything. You are supposed to be able to get in and out without detection with the aim of obtaining some nice photos, and leave behind only your footprints.

'Rules shmules' you say? Rules are for squares right? Well in that case, let me highlight the risks!! According to Wiki, many old abandoned structures feature hazards such as unstable structures, unsafe floors, asbestos, carbon monoxide, carbon dioxide, exposed electrical wires and entrapment hazards. Asbestos is a long term health risk for urban explorers, along with breathing in contaminants from dried bird faeces, otherwise known as Pigeon Lung. Some sites are occasionally used by substance abusers for either recreation or disposal, and there may be used and/or infected syringe needles en route, such as those commonly used with heroin.

Furthermore, storm water drains are not designed with human access as their primary use. They can be subject to flash flooding and bad air. There have been a number of deaths in storm water drains, but these are usually during floods, and are normally not Urban Explorers. Most Urban Explorers have a rule: Rain = no drain.

Somehow a few months back I stumbled across this site when searching for cool Japanese blogs: http://www.michaeljohngrist.com/ and have seen some truly amazing things on there. This guy is a photographer and also an "Urban Explorer" and currently lives in Japan. He enters abandoned theme parks, explores forgotten ghost towns and hotels and takes some brilliant photos. From this site I noticed he used the term "Urban Exploration" when talking about his trip to Paris. He said he wanted to enter the underground catacombs housing millions of exhumed skeletons from nearby graveyards.

I recommend following that link to see the pictures too, but if you can't be bothered navigating away, he writes that "Underneath Paris lie hundreds of miles of catacombs, dug over hundreds of years as quarries, tunnels, sewers and interlinked basements. Now for the most part they lie fallow, though never completely blocked-off for fear of sealing some intrepid explorers inside. Huge expanses are merely featureless tunnels of little interest, though nestled within their labyrinthine undulations can be found some fascinating pockets: rooms filled with stunning guerrilla art, bunkers from the World Wars stashed with antique munitions, secret underground cinemas, and of course the Ossuaries. The Ossuaries were filled after the cemeteries in Paris above began to overflow, spreading corruption and disease throughout the city. The first cartloads of exhumed bodies were removed from the nearby ‘Cemetery of the Innocents’ in 1786 and wheeled through the streets at night, flanked by a long procession of priests who blessed and re-consecrated the remains. That move finished 2 years later in 1788, but bodies continued to be relocated there from cemeteries all round Paris up until the mid 19th century."

Amazing. I found this in the "World Ruins" section of his website where he showcases amazing photos from abandonments and wonders around the world. I really think you should check it out. I also learnt about the Global Seed Vault on there. So when the world is ending, i know where I am headed... as long as I have some warm clothes!!

Oh yeah, and I also learnt today that the creepy town from Silent Hill is based on a real town called Centralia in Pennsylvania. It was set up as a coal mining town in the late 1800's, and many families came to live there. In the early 1960's some firemen were hired to "burn off" the landfill (which for some reason contained coal as well), but they didn't extinguish it correctly and eventually the fire burned down into the ground causing a subterranean fire which spread into the coal mines. Now I'm sure you can imagine that coal plus fire equals more fire, which explains why it is still burning today and is predicted to continue burning for the next 250 years. In the 1980's the land started collapsing, and a young boy fell through a sinkhole in his backyard (which turned out to be 4 ft wide and 150ft deep) but was quickly rescued by a family member and somehow survived the fumes. After this, the familes were forced to relocate and slowly abandon the town. Even though it is like a ghost town now except for about 9 people, the Church is still in tact and holds a service every Sunday. How creepy. I am suddenly reminded of the ending of Silent Hill... *shudder*

Road going into Centralia, from here. More amazing shots can be found here.

I asked my brother if he wanted to go with me to the old Werribee Hospital to take photos and he enthusiatically said yes... but then I found out it has been demolished. I remember going there about 5 years ago with some friends. For some reason we were tempting fate by walking along the Werribee River at night and we snuck in through a hole in the fence and were standing there just looking up at it. Two of my friends borrowed my phone which had a light on it and went running off into the dark and tore around inside screaming. I think there was Josh, me, and another girl left standing there... too scared to go in because we knew the guys would jump out at us. So we left. And waited for a long time for the guys to come back. I was in a different place back then - I don't think I even had a camera... actually I might have had a film camera haha. Oh well, I'll just have to research some other places...

my semi-triumphant return

Helllooooo (I want to say Buglers but i think it's copyrighted) everybody! Well, I'm back. I have been thinking about blogging for most of the week now, but have lacked the motivation... needless to say any form of enthusiasm towards anything at all really. To answer your question: yes, I am still bummed about my car. It still has not turned up so it looks like I am officially without a car, and almost without money. We shifted house last week so I had the whole week off work and it was emotionally and physically exhausting but we are finally all in. hooray!

I am definately not feeling myself these days though, that's for sure. I am really lapping up the "i got the blues" vibe too. I guess i haven't had anything to be really upset about in a while, so i'm really milking my chance to act out my feelings. It's kinda funny. I come home from work (after being picked up from the station and driven home - eep) and collapse face down on the couch where I lay for a period of time longer than normal. I have also had a bath 'to relax' which I never do. I have also let Josh talk me out of going to my old house after work to clean, and i 'took a night off' instead and curled up on the couch to watch a movie in the dark. I haven't quite moved past the 'Feeling sorry for myself' stage into the 'the world is shit' stage in which you really identify with songs like 'People=shit' by slipknot or 'raindrops keep falling on my head' or some other morose shit song. I'm hoping that i won't get there, and instead I'll get sick of moping around soon and my old motivation flame will kick in. Then i'll get a second job working nights and borrow some money from my parents to buy a car, and vow to pay them back in 2 months, and then end up having an emotional breakdown one day at my normal job... that old chestnut. All I know is that I seem to be an emotional eater type. When I'm sad, all I want is bad food. Luckily I have a pretty strong will and have been having soup, fish, lamb and salad lately. But today is just so wet and miserable that I had THIS for lunch:


well... kind of! I only ate a bit. I'm taking the beef home for din dins. The bentoo had TAKOYAKI in it :D so good, haven't had them in ages!! The miso soup was yummy too!!

Ok so depression over and back on track to my usual post styllle, let me show you what I got up to last night. Josh's older bro turned 25 and naturally I had to get him a twilight related gift as we share the common interest :P I picked up this "Team Jacob" mug that changes design when you put boiling water into it. I also drew him some hilarious twilight pictures of the most cringeworthy moments from the film including: "The Cullens don't come here", "AS IF YOU COULD OUTRUN ME!", "This is the skin of a killer, Bella", "You brought Dessert..." (with the head tilt) and of course k-stews face. that says it all. He really liked it! I also wrote the obligatory in-jokes and movie quotes on his card. I wrote something along the lines of: Another year older, another year further away from Edward. Will he still want you when you're a grandma? I believe you're more of a Jacob man though, so when you blow out your candles tonight you should wish for him to imprint on you. I'll blow on the candles at the same time and wish that Carlisle adopts me :D Be careful when you open your present - you don't want to get a papercut otherwise Jackson Rathbone will lunge at you, but I've got your back bro, I'll gladly take the hit.

haha. I could have written more but ran out of room and Josh was already shocked at the height of obsession that became apparent the more i wrote. So here are Bradd and Josh putting on a strange slide-show demonstrating the workings of the mug. I don't know where Josh got the banana or glasses from. They just appeared haha

and this is me trying to get Josh in a photo with me and the mug...

he wasn't impressed.

Oh and here are some shoes I saw in the street next to work. There are so many!

if you believe the myth, there must be a lot of drug dealers around... hehe

fucking fuck fuck

well hello there! It has been a long time, yes yes I know. And I'm very sorry. the reason I have not been blogging is mainly because I have been busy in the lead up to moving house which I am doing from tomorrow onwards. I was using my lunch breaks to get home insurance quotes and calling up various utility companies to organise final readings etc.

THEN as luck would have it, life dealt me a swift kick in the guts on Friday when I discovered my car had been stolen from the train Station after work. I got off the train at about 5pm (as i finished early) and was concentrating very hard on not getting my nice red open toe shoes wet in the puddles and the rain. I was too busy looking down to notice that my car was no longer there. When I did realise, I must say I got slightly frantic and emotional and i paced up and down the rows of cars looking around like a crazy lady. I suddenly remembered that i actually KNEW the exact spot I parked in, because the car in front of mine had parked funny which I noted to myself in the morning. So when I was standing in the spot where my car had been, dripping wet with squelching shoes longing for the umbrella that was in my car, that's when shit became real. I had to call my mum to come and get me, and then we noticed there were police already at the station for another reason, so we waited and chatted to them and made the report. The condescending cop was like "now love, are you sure you didn't just park it in a different spot to usual and forget..?" pffft. as if. So then Josh came too for support and took me home for a hot shower and a cup of tea and some pep-talk. I basically just have to wait now.

It's so shit. Couldn't have happened at a worse time as I am shifting house tomorrow - if i can get a car to use. And I had saved up really hard every week after paying the mortgage, bills, rent, food, train ticket, petrol etc to get like $1,500 which i was planning to use on improvements for the new house. Now I cannot spend any of it in case I have to get a new car or pay my excess for repairs if my car is all smashed up. It is so frustrating that I work hard and do everything properly and keep getting dealt all these massive random blows. I'm getting tired! And there are people out there running around doing all this illegal shit under the radar and they just take everything they want without having to work hard for it. Makes me sick. Maybe they are the smart ones really...? Maybe a life of crime is something I should consider, turn the tables a little... live in a GTA world. Fuck this man.

So yes I'm trying so hard to be positive about my situation. I know it could be sooooo much worse. I know there are people out there in the world who will never own a car. There are people out there who won't even make it to my age. At least i didnt have a loan on my car which i'd have to still pay off. BUT my car is old and i wont get much insurance for it. My mum is really encouraging and keeps saying "things will turn around, something good will happen..." whereas my dad is like "yeep.... life is shit. just one kick after another until you're dead." not even joking, thats what he was saying last night. So yes. I think I will take the rest of the week off work and focus on the house and packing and moving and trying to think how lucky i am to have so many THINGS and my health etc etc.

jade out.

paradise

wow, hi againfizellas! In my last post I included a picture of a paint chip with 150-200 layers on it, and linked it to its original source. I then decided to browse that website to see what it was all about, only to find that it is pretty interesting and extremely cool. To save you precious precious beasts from the tiresome task of scrolling down to my previous post... here is the link.

The post entitled 'Earth Without Humans' from Dec 1st is worth a read. It is an article by Alan Weisman from Discovery Magazine in 2005. It talks about what would happen to the planet if humans suddenly disappeared. Here are a few paragraphs that I liked:

The new wilderness would consume cities, much as the jungle of northern Guatemala consumed the Mayan pyramids and megalopolises of overlapping city-states. From A.D. 800 to 900, a combination of drought and internecine warfare over dwindling farmland brought 2,000 years of civilization crashing down. Within 10 centuries, the jungle swallowed all.

Mayan communities alternated urban living with fields sheltered by forests, in contrast with today’s paved cities, which are more like man-made deserts. However, it wouldn’t take long for nature to undo even the likes of a New York City. Jameel Ahmad, civil engineering department chair at Cooper Union College in New York City, says repeated freezing and thawing common in months like March and November would split cement within a decade, allowing water to seep in.

As it, too, froze and expanded, cracks would widen. Soon, weeds such as mustard and goosegrass would invade. With nobody to trample seedlings, New York’s prolific exotic, the Chinese ailanthus tree, would take over. Within five years, says Dennis Stevenson, senior curator at the New York Botanical Garden, ailanthus roots would heave up sidewalks and split sewers.
That would exacerbate a problem that already plagues New York—rising groundwater. There’s little soil to absorb it or vegetation to transpire it, and buildings block the sunlight that could evaporate it. With the power off, pumps that keep subways from flooding would be stilled. As water sluiced away soil beneath pavement, streets would crater.

“America would have three times as many species of animals over 1,000 pounds as Africa does today,” he says. An amazing megafaunal menagerie roamed the region: Giant armadillos resembling armor-plated autos; bears twice the size of grizzlies; the hoofed, herbivorous toxodon, big as a rhinoceros; and saber-toothed tigers. A dozen species of horses were here, as well as the camel-like litoptern, giant beavers, giant peccaries, woolly rhinos, mammoths, and mastodons. Climate change and imported disease may have killed them, but most paleontologists accept the theory Martin advocates: “When people got out of Africa and Asia and reached other parts of the world, all hell broke loose.” He is convinced that people were responsible for the mass extinctions because they commenced with human arrival everywhere: first, in Australia 60,000 years ago, then mainland America 13,000 years ago, followed by the Caribbean islands 6,000 years ago, and Madagascar 2,000 years ago.

Yet one place on Earth did manage to elude the intercontinental holocaust: the oceans. Dolphins and whales escaped for the simple reason that prehistoric people could not hunt enough giant marine mammals to have a major impact on the population. “At least a dozen species in the ocean Columbus sailed were bigger than his biggest ship,” says marine paleoecologist Jeremy Jackson of the Smithsonian Tropical Research Institute in Panama. “Not only mammals—the sea off Cuba was so thick with 1,000-pound green turtles that his boats practically ran aground on them.” This was a world where ships collided with schools of whales and where sharks were so abundant they would swim up rivers to prey on cattle. Reefs swarmed with 800-pound goliath grouper, not just today’s puny aquarium species. Cod could be fished from the sea in baskets. Oysters filtered all the water in Chesapeake Bay every five days. The planet’s shores teemed with millions of manatees, seals, and walrus.

You can read the rest on the site :) This kind of thing is so interesting. It reminds me of The Drowned World by J.G Ballard. Except there were some humans alive still in that book. Still an interesting concept and good book!

All this talk of lush nature reminds me of when we went to PARADISE in the Otway Ranges. It is mangificently beautiful, it's hard to believe it is located so close to a beach! Here are a few shots of Josh and his big tree at Paradise . He gave it a hug and everything :)

We are going back there next month to celebrate our 5 year anniversary :D so that should be sooo amazing! We are both really excited - especially me because i booked this awesome cottage on stilts standing over a lake! Sweet, can't wait!

Enjoy looking at that website! I haven't looked at too much, but it seems freakin awesome!

a weekend of love

Hola everyone! Happy Monday! Happy Valentines Day for yesterday if you are into it. If you aren't, then.... happy Sunday i guess. WELL. WELL WELL WEELLLLL!!! I had a loverly weekend I must say! As I mentioned I had my friend's wedding to attend on Saturday, and oh. my. god. it was amazing. The story is this: Ryan and Sarah started dating in year 12 (2004) at the school Josh went to. They have been together ever since. Last year Ryan signed up for the Army and had to go away for a few months for basic training and they stayed strong through that. Then he got posted to Darwin which is bloody ages away, and still they managed. Then one day out of the blue he popped the question right before he had to go back up to Darwin from his visit. So lovely! Here are a few nice snaps of the day, and of the bride looking stunning:

These ones are a bit blury but I like them because Josh is stalking Sarah in the background, getting closer...

closer.....

He got there in the end! he he Josh. Oh yes, below Sarah got a pic with all the boys but Simon was standing somehow with BOTH feet on her veil!! What an ordeal that was haha

Oh and the cake! It is a very true representation of the bridal party. Not sure that Pooley (Ryan) has a camo Jeep though...

I thought this below pic was funny. Caught at just the right moment of a weird facial expression.

It was such a beautiful day! One of the real tear-jerkers was when the celebrant read out secret letters they had written to each other. Pooley's letter to Sarah was astoundingly romantic, it got the tears welling up in my eyes, that's for sure! They are the first people in our age bracket to get hitched, I wonder who will be next...? Well i'm pretty sure it won't be me, but I have my suspicions about others!

~

Oh yes, and after that wonderfully romantic day, the following day was V-day. Or Valentines day if you will. Josh and I don't get too into it, it's a bit commercial. We have shared 6 Valentines Days together each one a little different from the last.

~

I remember the first one so clearly! Josh and I were not dating yet but we were hanging out heaps and I knew he liked me. And I liked him. BUT we were both painfully shy and hesitant. So he invited me over to his house to hang out on Valentines Day. Of course I knew it was the day of love but he, on the other hand, did not. I thought he must have planned something, so in the days leading up to it I bought him a present (a CD) and wrote him this really long letter thanking him for various things that we had done together and things he had shown me. I know that sounds seedy but it was 100% innocent i swear. Anyway yes the letter was along the lines of "thank you for going op-shopping with me, thank you for showing me the Tropicana juice bar on Elizabeth Street, thank you for always looking out for me..." etc etc for pages and pages. I think he still has it, i would be interested to read it again :D Anyway I rocked up to his place to hang out and gave him this present and letter and he was so embarrassed to not have anything for me. He liked the letter and said it was the nicest thing anyone had ever said about him. He actually looked like he was going to cry. And I have only seen him cry once in the 5 or so years that i have known him. He isn't really a crier. I do enough crying for the both of us seriously.

Wow, i did not intend that walk down memory lane. But I like it. Remembering the early days... I'm totally going to do something special for him soon. Just don't know what yet... I can't discuss it here as he reads my blog :D aw Josh you were so cute and innocent back then! *memories*

~

Anyway, other valentines days usually entailed a daytime celebration. One year - possibly our "first" valentines day we wanted to go and have a picnic at the Botanic Gardens but it was over 40 degrees and neither of us had a licence so we had a backyard picnic instead. The other years were in a similar low-key fashion, until one year we decided to have a proper Valentines Day complete with romantic dinner in Williamstown. It was the worst date we have ever been on. Josh booked this Greek restaurant but we could only get a 9pm sitting. Then they took forever to give us menus, take our order, replenish our wine, and it took over an hour for our entrees to come out and there was a hair on one of them. We had just about run out of things to talk about, and we were just so hungry and annoyed. Then they informed us that they had run out of what we ordered for our main, and asked if we wanted something else. We said no and left. But then we got Hungry Jacks drive-thru on the way home and had a picnic on my bed :) Best ending to the shittest night. After that we aren't really into V-day too much haha.

~

But this year our local Indian Restaurant waiter informed us of a Valentines Party they were having. It involved a banquet and some Bollywood Dancing! Josh and my interest was piqued indeed! So we signed up! Soon Maki and his girlfriend Mel heard about our plans and were interested as they aren't a huge V-day couple either. Then another couple we know joined us, and then Hayden too! It was awesome! We got some bubbly and the banquet was massive! It was: papadums and raita, lentil soup, potato and pea cakes, prawns in spinach curry paste, a selection of naan breads, spiced rice, a chicken curry, a lamb curry, a vegie curry, a whole tandoori grilled fish, and for dessert pistachio ice cream! I didn't really take any pics of the food as i was way too busy scoffing my faché, but i took some silly pics of us playing games with our fingers...

Here is Hayden doing the "blood" sign...

We all did it. Mel took the other pics. And here is Josh doing my most hated trick. He bends his thumb back over his hand and chases me around trying to stroke my face!!!!! AAAHHHHH

After we finished dinner we were the only people left and the staff cranked up the Bollywood tunes and showed us how to dance!

The owners kids were there and they are amazing dancers! Well the girl was - the little boy was just kind of jumping around but he was so effing adorable. It was heaps of fun, and I don't think they wanted us to leave! They kept going over to the laptop and changing tracks! The girl knew all the words and all the moves. Then the chefs came out and they were awesome dancers!

The two on the left are the owners, and those are their kids. The two at the back in the middle are married and they are the waiters. The guy in the turban was a fucking ace and he is a chef, and i think the lady on the right was a kitchen hand. Could be wrong, this is 100% assumption. Anyway turban guy knew all the moves and had a cool beard!

Well, that is the end of my weekend story. Oh actually, i will tell you something funny! Josh and I both talk in our sleep and say creepy things sometimes. On Saturday night i was fast asleep when Josh yanked one of the pillows out from under my head and laid it down between us - he yanked like 3 times until he got it out. My head fell to the other thin pillow underneath and i was like "Josh! Josh!? What did you do that for?.... Josh....??" and he turned over to me and went "*sigh* you said you didn't want 2 ice-cream sticks." and i said "what are you talking about...? These are pillows, not ice-cream sticks!" to which he replied "Well, you SAID you only wanted one ice-cream stick so I was just trying to help!" and with that he went back to sleep. I asked him in the morning if he remembered but he didn't. Haha.

Ok well i am thinking about making dinner for the housemates tonight, I havent cooked for everyone in ages, I dont know whats going on, we have all been all over the place! Maybe a mushroom risotto...? mmmmmm

muerta: the fallen

well. this is a bit of a huge post. not so much in the way of length or awesomeness, but more in the way of curse breaking. let me explain...

Lately, my most beloved possessions (only the ones i blog about) have been under attack from the forces of death- the very ones, i suspect, that were at play in the tragic real life story "Final Destination". I don't know what i have done to deserve this dark cloud of death to be hanging over my homestead. Either someone out there has some seriously misguided grudge against me and has laid a curse upon me, or the ancient Greek Gods have cursed me for being so subarashii and having an interesting B-LoG. Probably the latter.

I hope that by commemorating the fallen, I will in effect reverse the curse (lol rhyme) and save everything else i blog about from dying too. Here it goes...

UNO
Oh sushi cup, how i loved thee. I didn't mean to kick you off the footstool and shatter you into a million pieces. I do not regret immediately burying my face into a pillow and fighting the impending tears while Josh disposed of your body. You must understand I just couldn't deal with the carnage. I will never forget how you could hold the perfect cup of tea in your streamlined handle-less form, and how every time i even looked at you a smile would spread across my face. Thank you for being the most awesome cup in the whole cup shop in Osaka and for being so affordable. We had some good times hey? I have seen other sushi cups online but it just wouldn't be the same as you. I might just drink from Josh's similar cup with weird Japanese faces on it, until i can find a suitable replacement in my heart - if that could ever happen.

PS. I'm sorry I blamed Chester for smashing you, it was clearly my fault. Chester wasn't even inside..

DUO

Bento Box, Bento Box.... although I owned you for almost a year before you broke, and only used you twice.... i still loved you. It was a shame that your latch broke, and that you would fall apart when i tried to carry you. You still held up OK when i wrapped rubber bands around you to keep you together but who was I kidding- you had died, and the stench of your death dispersed into my food and spoiled the taste. I still would like another bento box and because we weren't so close i think i can get away with ordering a cute one online. RIP

-

TRES

Oh Tweedle-Dee... I have already blogged about your demise but again I am sorry that our house doesn't have cooling and that you got blanched to death in the heat wave last week. You were a good fish for all those years, you were very understanding and strong. On the first night i owned you and your brother Tweedle-Dum, someone at the party put a sausage in your bowl to feed you. It sat there for hours until my brother saw it and removed it in disgust. That didn't bother you guys though, you took what you could from it - perhaps it was good for you even, because you lasted 3.5 years. Your brother was not so lucky though - dying shortly after. Even when Chester started trying to attack you in the bowl you didn't give in, you gave him a run for his money. Eventually after we trained him not to want to eat you, you still had enough trust in your heart to let him share your water every day. You also were very understanding if i forgot to clean your bowl and it was so green that we couldn't actually see you. And if i forgot to feed you for a week you stayed strong and got by on whatever you could - you probably ate your own poo to stay alive, who knows? I thank you for your friendship and hope you are in a better place.

-

QUATTRO

Oh little fish who was tentatively named Ron Weasley or Frank, how ashamed I am that you only lived for less than 24 hours in my home. I cleaned the bowl after Tweedle-Dee had gone, and had it all fresh for you. You even didn't mind Chester sharing your water. Who knows what killed you... the bacteria still present from Tweedle-Dee, the shock from pond to bowl, or the heat of your water which I suspect was the case. I feel very guilty about your death and I want you to know that I was hoping you would outlast Tweedle-Dee and also that I bought you an aerator so you could have bubbles, and some new vitamin-rich fish food. None of which you liced to enjoy.

Perhaps one day I will get another fish, but until that day I will remember both of you fondly.

~

Well, I think that was pretty good. Let's hope this curse has been lifted now and that it doesn't go after Chester or any of the humans i talk about :s (touch wood)

g-rad

well, i finally graduated! i finished studying (after 4 years) in November 2008, but now i finally can prove that i spent 4 years of my life working on this.

it was pretty funny. like 90% of the graduates were Asian, and their families were there all MEGA excited. They had gifts and floral bouquets and stuff draped over them, and when all the graduates had to stand their failies would be jumping up and down on the spot waving furiously at them with one hand, and a video camera in the other hand. my family were like "meh" and my mum even asked me when it was over "so you did a Bachelor...of Business...??" meaning she didn't really know what i have been up to for the last 4 years of my life. haha. oh i made myself feel bad.

also we didn't get to throw our hats into the sky. that only happens in movies. instead i got told 3 times to return my robe and hat and sign out by a certain time, and even when i was on my way there a lady grabbed me and was like "you have to hand in your robe, you know??" uh YES I KNOW! Props for being thorough though. I guess they missed the girl in the carpark posing by a rose bush then...? anyway hats in the air is too disorganised for a ceremony like that. They would lose so much revenue in stolen hats. It would be like a scramble for the bridal bouquet but less sexy.

goodbye jasmine :(

Remember I said that my family were talking about putting my dog to sleep? Well it happened. On Monday night my mum called me when i was on the train on the way home and said "Call me back...." when she found out i was in public so I knew that could mean nothing good was to come. Then my little brother called me a few minutes later and told me that the decision had been reached to have her put to sleep the following morning. Have you ever tried to hold back tears on a crowded train? It is very uncomfortable I can tell you that. Please indulge me and let me pay homage to my good friend jasmine who was part of my family for 14 years. If i had a diary i would write this in there but a blog is the next best thing.

(This photo was from when we lived in Williamstown - soooo 1998. I found it at my dad's place)


We got her from Pets Paradise all those years ago (i think in 1995 - 1996), and she soon became a breeding dog for pure breed Cocker Spaniel puppies. I lost count of how many litters she had, maybe like 6..? That was always an exciting time when she was due to give birth and we would all watch and wait. I remember one year she gave birth overnight when we were all asleep. My dad came into my room to wake me up by putting a puppies nose in my ear and it was the cutest sound to wake up to. Do you know that puppy smell, and those little puppy breaths? I hope you do because they are something i will never forget.

They were also disgusting times and sad times, like when the puppies would shit and piss all over the ground outside and you had to walk around the land mines. Or when they would roll in it, then come up to you for a cuddle. Or when Jasmine would eat each placenta as each puppy was born, or when she would eat fresh puppy poo off the ground. Talk about losing your appetite! I remember one time one of her puppies was born with a twisted bowel and it was vomitting its own poo. That was tragic. Jasmine didn't want anything to do with it because it was "defective" so we took turns of looking after it and trying to feed it but it didn't get better and died. That was just awful as a kid, or at any age.

When i first found Chester and brought him home, Jasmine had just delivered a litter of puppies and she wanted to rip Chester's face off. Poor Chester didn't know what was going on, but they soon became friends and only when Jasmine was "hormonal" did she chase him up the fence or try to tackle him. Poor chester :P

Every Christmas we would put her reindeer ears on and she would run inside and bounce all over the place crushing our presents and roll in the wrapping paper.

If we ever said "go for walk!" or "go in the car?" or "where's the puss puss?" she would go nuts, and if we ever jingled her lead she would start howling because she loved to go for walks so much! Now that i think of it, i hadn't heard her bark or howl in years.

In this picture we lived at a house which backed onto a train line. One day the gate blew open and Jasmine walked out onto the tracks to sniff around. She was never afraid of cars or traffic which you would think would be some sort of instinct in a dog right?? Not my Jazzy. Anyway this train came hurtling along and saw her on the tracks, and screeched on the brakes and started to blow its big horn. It frightens me when i hear it up close, but she was all "hey, i'm busy!" so the train sat there until my mum went out to see what the fuss was all about and called her back into the yard.

Also at this house and at my dad's house she could dig and get under the fence into the street, so many many times we would be driving along the street after being out all day and we would find her sitting at the front door waiting to be let back in.

She ran away once when there were fireworks in the sky. This was only about 2 years ago, and we had to collect her from the pound the next day. It was really scary because her legs sometimes gave out and she would fall over. That, coupled with her lack of fear of busy roads, meant that she could have gotten run over.

Well, I could write lots more about her, but I tend to waffle on, so I will leave it here.

I took this photo on Monday night when i went to say my last goodbye to her. It was heartbreaking because despite her old and worn out body, her mind was still that of a puppy. She had no idea that it was the last time i would be cuddling her or patting her, she didn't know what was coming in the morning. I cried so much, and even now i feel like crying again.

She was a good dog, a good friend, and i will always love her.

Goodbye Jasmine xoxo