October 21, 2008

For when the toilet paper runs out...

The toilet roll is bare
no paper there remains
someone should repair
but noone takes the blame

what prick used the last bit?
surely it wasn't I
for i never learnt to shit
i secrete waste from my eye

in school i was the butt
of everybody's joke (pun)
until i became a slut
and started to drink and smoke

famed for party tricks
and interesting dances
at night i'd get my kicks
starting brief tear duct romances

each hole is a goal
is what i heard them say
and i'm climbing the social pole
so it is the only way

all the boys will love it
they're pin dicks anyway
all because i can't shit
in the normal way

my bum- devoid of function
makes a nifty vase
it's also good for grinding
polenta from some maize

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