a clam poem

"AVAST!" i cry, ye slubberin' ghouls
a clam that wishes to be a pig that DROOLS?
a soft spot i had for those closed up pods
of the sea, those moustachio gods

i don't eat clams, not since the day
that my lover clam snapped my heart away
he opened up, i was the special one
our love was good until he declared it done

i cried so long, i cried so fierce
but he had no eyes thus cried no tears
if i see that chump again i'll use a hammer
and anyway, i've still got my youth and glamour

what could he get? a seamonkey, a fish?
he's crazy to let me go, i'm a true blue aussie dish
or maybe it's that his love was too strong...
he got scared and closed up, had to say 'so long'

thats probably it, oh i hope we cross paths
we'll meet eyes at a club, or the public baths
he'll see what he's missed, and miss how i kissed
i'll draw him close, then give him my FIST

that little punk broke my heart with his slimy clammy shell
now i'll send him to the worst kind of hell
"Hell on Earth" -it opened last week
my new boyfriend's in charge, he's arty and chic

He's kinda dead, but was an artist and famous
he's showed me to love, and kill and be heinous
and the best part is we hate clams collectively
scars on our heart and cock - of course that's respectively

united we stand, united we victor
i'll crush his shell like a boa constrictor
he's no match for us, he better keep his wits
a lesson for you: all clams are SHIT