a little peace and quiet

Have you ever had one of those days when you just need to be away, in the middle of nowhere, just... away? Well I experienced this rare desire on Sunday. Normally I am quite happy to be at home to sort through my thoughts there, but yesterday I decided I needed to be near running water for some reason. I hope this doesn't mean I'm losing the plot, like the water is calling me to it and then I slowly march in and never re-surface. That is... until I resurface one town over next to a little child making what would be their very last sand-castle before they developed a phobia. Anyway, so I felt like I couldn't concentrate on reading or writing at home and I needed to be in a more open natural area.

I think this desire may have had something to do with the fact that I spent all of Saturday in bed due to some overzealous partying on Friday night. It was a shame I was the only one on that level and the only one hung-over because there was nobody to sympathise with. All I got were other people's recollections of what I said or did and who I yelled "SLUT" at... much to my brother's amazement. I can't say I'm terribly proud of my cheekier actions but I obviously had an amazing time. Josh said I was being a dork and he was happy that I was happy. What a guy <3

So Saturday was interesting. Once my body had expelled most of the demons I realised I couldn't really move - or at least it wasn't a good idea to. Josh got up and went for a walk and made a delicious breakfast for himself and then went to work at 1pm. I was still dying. I tried to have a shower but standing up for that long simply made things worse and the heat of the water made me feel like I was going to pass out. It was then that I realised that binge drinking is no longer something that I can do very well. Back in bed, I was glad to see that I had a tube of Pringles, some Oranges, water and a remote within arms reach. And so commenced the "Six Feet Under" healing marathon. With each episode and orange segment, I felt life slowly filling my body like the formaldehyde in the show. So I got out of bed at 5.30pm and tried to act like I CHOSE to spend my day in bed. I wasn't foolin' nobody.

So after that little effort, I was certainly looking to get out and about on Sunday. I went for a drive to a semi-local spot I had actually never visited. I thought it would be nice and quiet there at one of the lookouts off the carpark, but within 5 minutes of sitting down I was already witness to some "hoon" behaviour. One car was trying to impress.... me?..... and did a SICK burnout on the gravel or the car park for about, oh 15 seconds, and then took off onto the windy road screeching for the next 15. How attractive. Obviously a man with money who can splash out for new tyres every other week! How I remained sitting there fully clothed during that display is beyond me. Maybe they were hoping that the power of their burn out would blow my clothes right off? Wankers. Anyway, once the smell of burning rubber was gone I could focus on my little picninc table. There was a sign that I chose the right table for me:

I swear that wasn't my handy work. Unless I tend to sleepwalk to far away secluded places to graffiti wooden tables. That sounds like something I'd do right? Anyway, once I picked my table, I admired the view.. it was green and quiet and lovely.

I sat down with my books and did some quality reading.

This is from a book Josh got me called "The Art of Salad Making" from 1968. It's pretty cute. I love the opening line to the book: 

It made me laugh out loud the first time I read it. I continued to read more of her anecdotes and thoughts. For some reason this line struck me: "The hostess who gets carried away is a dreadful menace."

I planned to stay for a long while but the comings and goings of the cars in this secluded spot were distracting me immensely! After the first car burned off, there was a second car full of guys tearing it up and yelling out, then an Indian family got out and sat at the next lookout for 5 minutes before leaving, then another car pulled up a bit too close for comfort. I could hear the pop and crunch of the gravel on tyres slowing down like a roulette wheel behind me. I tried not to look around, because that would let THEM know I was freaking out. It probably didn't help that at this point I was reading a book about murders and attacks and disappearances. They killed the engine and sat in the car for a minute or 2, while I pretended to read and put my glasses back on (all the better to see you with). When I heard the car door open and close I tensed up and a classic Peep Show quote ran through my head: "They're going to kill me and burn me in the bath". (HINDSIGHT LOL) I heard the crunching of feet approaching me and wondered what the hell I was doing keeping my back turned. I spun around to see this middle aged lady with a massive camera come to take pictures of the view. She ignored me, so i went back to my reading, this time with a higher BPM. After a while I was alone again, so naturally I took the opportunity to get a self portrait looking pensive ;) 

Oh yeah, that's the stuff. Look at that vulnerability- I was asking for it. Ok enough of that. So ends my first (un-succesful) journey to find a quiet thinking space. Something tells me I may be in the wrong suburb for it :P