drop it like it's hot

No thanks. I don't want to have sex with you. Well actually, I can't think of a time in my life when I would be in the presence of Snoop Dogg and he would be asking me to remove my clothes. Thank god because I would probably vomit on him before he had a chance to vomit on me.

Seriously, this guy has to be one of the ugliest "sex gods" i have ever seen. I recently sat through his music video of "Drop it like it's hot" and all i can say is... what the fuck. why?! how?! are you actually popular with the ladies? Is it because you have lots of drugs at your disposal? I don't know anyone that is high all day and has women lining up for a shag... sorry - shizzle. Oh, I know, it must be those masculine plaits in your hair, complete with pretty blue baubles. I used to sport that look in primary school and I didn't have anyone try to lez me up, so I guess it only becomes hot when you're so baked you don't even realise you've swallowed your tongue...?

I am not naiive, I realise that some women are aroused by money and power, so I am sure this is the only reason this emaciated sun dried corpse could land a fuck. I hear people make jokes about his lyrics, and always thought they were exaggerating about the "izzles" and the pointlessness of the content... oh no. not even. ahem:

"I got the rolly on my arm and I'm pouring Chandon. And I roll the best weed cause I got it going on.."

Good to know. I myself don't even wear a watch, and I drink $15 bottles of wine - but do you hear me flaunting this in song format?? no.

"So don't change the dizzle, turn it up a little
I got a living room full of fine dime brizzles
Waiting on the Pizzle, the Dizzle and the Shizzle
G's to the bizzack, now ladies here we gizzo"

um, what? I only half know what he's talking about, so obviously that is a measure of where i stand in society. I am half way up the cool ladder. Cooler than old people, but less cool than teenagers and hip-hop society. awesome.

A friend of a friend worked at this club in Melbourne where Snoop Dogg had some after party when on tour. The manager was like "give him whatever he wants" so soon there were 5,000 buckets of fried chicken that everyone was eating, while they smoked fat blunts. oh to be famous hey? also, picturing snoop dogg blazed off his face covered in chicken grease while some girl makes out with him and takes the chicken that was half masticated in his mouth into her mouth and swallows it... makes me sick. blahhh snoop dogg yuck.