Leather Hackett

I don't know what the hell kind of demon posessed me, but a few years ago i thought it was the most brilliant idea to buy a $400 leather trenchcoat. Now, I know what you are thinking, the Matrix right? NO no no no no NO!!! First of all, it was brown. Secondly, I was in highschool when the first Matrix came out, and I boycotted the 3rd movie, and this whole leather trenchcoat thing was after all that. The nice people at the 'facility' where i spent some time after watching the Matrix had finally convinced me that the world i lived in was in fact real, and that no amount of picking up ringing phones and trying to will my body to liquify and suck up into the earpiece was going to change that. I am ok now. I digress..

Perhaps it was some sort of subconscious sick joke to play on my vegan and vegetarian friends and family members.. who could know? All i know is that I was bewitched by the feel of the crushed leather, the intoxicating smell of the hide, the way it made me look like a 1920's pilot if i wore it with a white scarf... i was in love. So i played hard to get by leaving it on Lay-by (or lay-away for those of you playing in America) for a few months, only giving it the slightest bit of attention every now and again. Once i had it, my life was complete, our 2 worlds collided and we were now one, ready to hit the streets of MElbourne and strut. But then the most curious thing happened when i tried to wear it for the first time. I did up the last button and suddenly the voices of ghostly and angry protestors, and the distant "mooing" of cows bombarded my conscience. I fought it, and wore it out to work anyway. Sadly, I could no longer feel like a superfly 1920's starlet in this jacket because all I could think about was what people were thinking of me in my bloody cow skin. I think i have worn it perhaps 3 times since i bought it. value for money - i think not.
I told this to a lady at work, and she confessed she had just bought a leather couch without realising just what it is made of. I saw her face fall as she came into the same head-space as me. I'm sorry cow, i love you.