!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!BLANKET FORT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hey wassup wassup! Well, I dunno about you all, but I have been a busy bee lately, and I'd like to share with you a cool thing I was involved in: The unforgettable Blanket Fort Party! The night of nights for many, myself included, was a great achievement by all those involved and will go down in history as one of my favourite birthdays everrrrrrrr!

As my 25th Birthday approached, I realised that to some this is a big year. It's half-way to 50, and I tend to believe that quarter-life crises are very real indeed. So I had the choice of going two ways: adopting a fear of ageing and locking myself away in my bedroom, rummaging through baby photos and brushing my hair until i go bald (much like my infantile self), or...accepting it. I went for the latter...sort of.

I often reflect upon my childhood, and how blissful my youthful ignorance really was. I mean, kids shouldn't have to deal with all the scary realities of life and they are often protected. Well, i was anyway, and many kids in a similar socio-economic-developmental-middle-class. Those were the days, when nothing concerned you, and you could lay around all day because there was nothing else pressing to do. I decided that at this point in my life, an injection of childlike delight was just what the doctor ordered so I decided to have a Blanket fort party!!!!!!!!!!!

On Community they did a few episodes about building a Blanket Fort, and the idea resonated well with my inner child. Blankets, sheets and pillows, crawling, PJs... how could anyone be unhappy in a blanket fort?! Then one day I heard on the radio that a guy was decorating his apartment for a Blanket Fort Party so i was determined to make one myself. I did a little research on other people's success or FAILS online, and decided it could be achieved pretty easily.

My supplies: A few rolls of fishing line, tacks or small nails, LOTS of safety pins, sheets, blankets, rugs, pillows, beanbags, fairy lights, and of course, plenty of this junk:

Josh and my housemate Maki decided they would be the engineers for my fort dreams. A bit like Inception but not. I wanted people to still be able to walk around - not 100% crawling, so to create the roof of the fort, Josh put little tacks into the top of the door and window frames and then ran a netting of fishing wire from one point to the other. We also ran it along the walls so we could hang sheets straight down.

Once that was all rigged up, we started draping sheets, curtains, blankets and whatever we could find over the netting, then joining them together/hoding them in place with many, many, many safety pins.

We ended up borrowing sheets from friends and family, then buying most from op-shops, I got some great designs like Batman, E.T, BMX rally... oh they were awesome. I gathered up all my romantic lighting and fairy lights, made some paper snowflakes, some mulled wine, fairy bread, ordered some awesome anime costumes from ebay, and then, got ready to parttyyyyyyy:

We had a giant Pass the Parcel early in the night too - a great gift from some mates. This is me in my dinosaur costume opening one of the layers!

And the fun wasn't contained to one room either.. the hallway was decorated like a tunnel and there was a table in there that you had to crawl under/climb over - it really forced people against their will to tap into their inner child. It sucked on Sunday though cos nobody could be bothered moving it yet it killed us to keep going over or under. There was also a Nintendo / cuddle room in the spare bedroom! As you can see, it got very cuddwy! See my green leg poking out? I'm in there somewhere...

We also paid homage to both Community and Workaholics (<3) at the party. The blanket fort and human being were Community:

And Maki dressed as The Ders. So good! My skinny-boy friends and boyfriend found it challenging to fill out the caboose of their costumes so they stuffed it with balloons....

Oh what a night! I recommend everyone do a blanket fort PJ party, it's so fun!! The next day was nice too as we all lay about in PJs and blankets watching TV all day, ate Fish 'n' Chips for lunch, then a roast chicken/veg for dinner. It was just like old times where we had no commitments or cares, just hanging out doing sweet f.a. I talk like I'm about 100 remeniscing back on my happy youth but if you don't excercise your inner child and chill out it will run away. I've got mine on one of those kiddie leashes so it wont get away, and sometimes it goes hyperactive and tries to bolt off, and i clutch on and get dragged along for the ride. It's a fun ride. 

Bye bye Chester

Something terrible has happened. My darling cat Chester has tragically and unexpectedly passed away. It happened on Thursday March 15th, and it started with a phone call at 7:27am from my distressed house mate. I was staying with Josh in the city the previous night and was going to go to work in the morning, so i was surprised to hear from him at such an early hour. The phone call was to tell me that he had found Chester in the driveway, not alive. Of course I freaked out. I thought I might vomit. I didn't know what to do. He came to get me which is a good move as walking in the rain and catching 2 trains back home then walking home to find my cat would not be great. 

When we got back, I was relieved to see that he had seen to my wishes that Chester be covered up so he wouldn't be rained on. He and a neighbour wrapped him and put him in a crate, then placed him in my garage. It was there in the cold and musty garage that I could kneel next to him and really cry as I gently stroked the fur on is leg. The grief was strange and overpowering, this is the first dead body I have really been around. I only touched him gently because if I applied pressure I  felt the un-natural stiffness of his muscle which disturbed me. His tail upset me further because it was up in the air, and his eyes wide open. I felt like he couldn't be gone because he looked so complete, the only thing missing was inside, and snuffed out so quickly and mysteriously. 

This is the first pet that I have had full responsibility for, and it was up to me to make sure I always do the right thing by him. I blamed myself of course - for getting another kitten, leading to his surliness and aggression towards both me and Peanut, and the panic he displayed when I tried to keep him inside the house or worse- in my room to sleep on my bed like old times. I figured I had caused him to want to be outside and get in cat fights for the first time in his life and get these infections. I thought he may have had a bad reaction to the very recent flea treatments. The vet had recently told me that he was in good health. He had a heart murmur which could be a problem though. My neighbour believes that the electrical storms that night had frightened him to death. I would like to believe that too. Better than another fight or an infection or him being hit. I feel like he didn't know he was going to die because he was out in the open. I thought cats disappeared to die. I guess it's all speculation. 

That day I also dug my first, and hopefully last, grave. I furiously tried to dig it all myself but the hard clay got the better of me and my house mate and i took turns. It took forever but finally I could lay Chester to rest in the place he always loved to nap. The rest of the day involved constantly teary eyes, some grief beers, visiting a nursery with my family to pick a commemorative plant for the spot, and staring into nothingness for long periods of time. I settled on some nice purple flowering plants so that one day I can cut them to remember him. 

Well, that was one of the shittest days ever, but I wanted to write about it because over the years I have written lots about Chester. He was loved by so many people, and my neighbours are all very sad to see him gone too. Such a terrible shame, and I wish it never happened. But, what can you do. That's life, as they say. Bye Bye Chester.

What is going on in the world?

There’s this guy who works in the café in my building who I’ve met a few times while he made my coffee. Today he asked me if I’m Australian (which I am). I simply thought that he, like many other strangers, had heard my supposedly ‘ambiguous’ accent and wondered where it hails from. Not so. Instead he explained that he has been working there for the last 5 months and he’s never seen me before and was just wondering who I was.
Never seen me before…? Interesting. Because I’ve seen him plenty of times. Face to face, even. Exchanged greetings and everything. I suppose maybe he meant never ‘noticed’ me before, which actually is no better when I think about it - in fact it’s kind of an insult that I made no impression on him whatsoever. Like that whole ‘blanking someone you have already met’ think from 30 Rock. I know his name, and his country of origin… because he told me. That’s correct. He told me.
True, I have just returned from a 10 day holiday in tropical relaxing Darwin, so maybe I’m looking rather refreshed for once, and not sporting the usual burning the candle at both ends look I have so expertly mastered. But back to the thing…what was wrong with me before that he didn’t even see me? Was I so repulsive to look at and/or talk to? It almost seems like a compliment that he now is interested in my existence as a human being I suppose, like I must be doing something right in a small way, but seeing as I was once treated like the Elephant man, and elephants never forget, I won’t be forgetting this.
This makes me realize that perhaps I should start being super nice to people. Good for the soul and all that. Sort of seems like hard work though… :P Nah, lesson learned, lesson learned. I'll be nicer

Takushiiiii Duraibaaaaaa

In Melbourne you’d be pretty hard pressed not to find a taxi – they’re part of the scenery, which by extension means so are Taxi drivers. Those valliant knights of the bitumen who ferry us around at our most vulnerable moments. Bless ‘em.


They are an interesting and varied breed of people these drivers. No doubt everyone reading this has had some kind of strange conversation or experience in a Taxi – which makes me wonder what common personal characteristics are required for those in the profession? Varied backgrounds and educational levels pose no problem as the skills needed are more of a personal nature - people skills, diplomacy, cleanliness and, well, of course… the ability to drive. I would add to that list the ability to stay awake through the night or the willingness to dabble in some mild substance abuse, as well as the ability to multi-task ie. talking on your phone, to your customer, and also… safely operating a vehicle simultaneously.

Some recent conversations with taxi drivers have piqued my curiosity in the cab folk and the way they live their lives. One recent driver was a softly spoken Indian guy who explained that he was new to driving Taxi’s. It was only his second shift, and already he hated it. He then confessed that he often experienced micro sleeps… which of course made me talk both louder and faster literally to save my life. I can understand the micro sleeps though as he explained driving was his third job and he only gets a few hours rest a night. Poor dude. I could tell he wanted to be home in bed rather than exchanging niceties with me. But I really needed to get to bed too… so…

Another guy a few weeks back was more of a morbid philosopher than a cab driver. I suggested he have business cards made proclaiming his dual professions but he didn’t care for that idea. At the time I was wearing a very short dress and in the cab alone on my way to some birthday celebrations, feeling rather … exposed. He asked me if I would do him a favour… My nerves started subsiding when he went on to explain and it wasn’t a blowjob he was after. Something about turning off the meter I don’t know. That sounds pretty dodgy nonetheless. He enquired about where I was headed, and I explained my friend was having a birthday party. He then told me that 25 is the end of youth and happiness. Apparently, once you wake up on your 25th birthday, your life basically goes steadily downhill from there until you die. If old age doesn’t get me, I’m sure depression will. Thanks dude. He explained how pretty much any person you meet will be fucked up in some way, and relationships are a waste of time. He divulged details of close friend/client’s relationships to me too.

When I was a kid I never took taxis. Well, obviously… because I was a kid. But my fambo always seemed to be driving or we'd get public transport. Taxis were just something I saw in movies. I can’t even really remember my first cab ride, it seems like I should remember something like that- my first experience being driven around in awkward silence by a stranger. Oh well, as my taxi driver told me, none of it really matters anyway. I may as well just lay still and wait for the end now. JKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK I'm actually super hyper right now. Amazing what a can o' coke can do to a gal. WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE :D

This Australian Life

Hey there readers. In tonight's instalment I'll be telling you some great stories, and bringing you some pictures direct from...you guessed it - my life. First up, my amazing January so far! For Christmas my dearest got me tickets to both David Sedaris and Ira Glass in their similarly named 'An evening with....' shows 1 week apart at the Athaneum here in Melbourne. Josh introduced me to This american life about a year ago or so, and I aint done ever looked back. Much like many other regular listeners or downloaders of the American radio show/podcast, I think Ira Glass (the host) is some kind of demi god. He ticks all the boxes of what I want to hear and is pretty much just a cool dude. It was on this show that I first heard of the author/humourist David Sedaris too. He was reading aloud an essay from one of his books and i was hooked in! His exaggeration technique is like a kajillion times more amazing than what i could ever dream up! 

So first up was the David Sedaris show! I had been reading his books and listening to him for a while and even starting to follow the career of his sister Amy... in a non-stalkerish way naturally. I could not believe i was going to see him in person, and I was nervous too as there was an opportunity to meet him after the show in the book signing!!! Now, I am not the smoothest of characters so I was already envisioning the ways I would embarrass myself. Plus I read that he chats to each person for a few minutes at the signing and then draws/writes something interesting in your book. One lady wrote that he signed her book something about diabetes thus the thinks he was insinuating she was fat. Now I really love DS, and I was thinking if he found fault in me I would have to ceremoniously burn all his books and pretend I'd never heard of  him to avoid the stab of pain that would come every time i saw one of the books laying around. The broken fan heart. Luckily he thought i was AWESSSSSSSSSSSSSSOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMEEEE!!!

Not even joking, Josh had a great idea of writing something in the book before giving it to him so I drew a pic of DS along with some other stuff and when he opened it he grinned and was like "WHO DID THIS?!!" and I fessed up (sorry, i have recently (and ironically) read a DOLLY mag.. omg, i'm OTT crazy atm) and he was like "That's fantastic, i love it etc etc.." so the 3 of us (me, the bf, and the housemate) stood there chatting to him, and he proceeded to tell us filthy filthy jokes!!!!!! It was amazing. He wrote in one of my books how much he loves my drawing, and made sure to tell me again as i left. Hoorah. Guess i can pick up another of his books to add to the collection now. He passed the test. the test of being worthy enough to keep a reader interested. Anyway that was a great night, and a few days later was Ira!!!!!!

We started the night with drinks and postulating what he'd talk about. 

They were cleverly concealing their giddy child-like glee... as was I. Actually i cant really conceal anything so i made a few strange noises and squeeks that happen at these times. Skipping ahead, Ira was also great! He was different to what I imagined (posture and body language-wise) but in a way I was glad to see a bit of the real Ira and realise he is just a dude. Just a normal down to earth dude who had no idea people in Australia loved him so much as he bowed time and time again at the end of his talk. He began his show in total darkness as the voice we all know and love filled the room. When the lights came on, the crowd went wild! One of his first questions as he grinned around the room was 'How do you guys even know who I am??' - funny. I think he has learned quite a lot from his visit and his eyes are opened a little about his fanbase. I was surprised to know that their staff only consists of 8 people. Working nutso hours and trying to pull stories from everywhere they can. So amazing.

Anyway, I also just got back from a little weekend road trip to Adelaide for my cousin's birthday! We took my mannequin 'Derryn' along for the ride and he had fun at the beach. People were a little taken aback, but in the end the police calmed everyone down and we got the head back.

At first i thought we wouldnt even make it, as I had been having car issues. I had no power, and sometimes couldnt get over 80km/hour. i also later found out both brake lights were out. The mechanic my mum took the car to (as my xmas present) couldnt fix the situation and didnt fix my brakelights before returning it. So i got my un-roadworthy car back and avoided driving it. I had it booked into Nissan for a detailed inspection and was prepared to fork out a few hundo (that i didnt have) for a solution. Then luckily my sicko brother did a little online research and found out that my model of car has this in-built safety mechanism thing that when both brakelights are out, the engine goes into safety mode or something. So $3 in light-globes later, the car ran perfectly again. I could not believe my luck!

In unrelated news... here is a zucchini that grew like crazy while i was interstate. I picked it today when i got up! It is the size of my shin.

Lately I have been doing a little cooking (of course) but not photographing much of my escapades... here's just one for you:

Also, I found this at my front door one night....

I opened the door looking for my cat late one night (yes i know, cats should be in-doors etc etc) and there is was, with the fairy attached to the top like in the pic. As you can see it is half eaten by snails and has obviously blown from someone's bin. In my mind though, some young girl has taken a liking to me from the few seconds each morning she sees me cross the yard to my car and has drawn and almost flawless picture of me. It is quite remarkable how alike we are really. Those dead eyes, the black boots. Amazing.

I've been getting a little arty too, I made a bunch of snowflakes for Xmas to add some christmas flayvaaaa to wrapping paper. these ones went on the wall :) 

Oh and this one... This is not a real person. This is a sacrificial scarecrow we made when Josh quit his job. We burned the uniform and badge and all in my back-yard. It was wild. And scary. And smoky. But mostly funny. Those bits on the ground are the arms. They fell with a dull thump. It's amazing what petrol and hay and leftover wrapping paper can do. Ok, i'm wrapping this up as I am getting way tired. Below is a picture of a gnome i bought from a country op-shop for $1. I thought my suburbian yard needed a little cliche to it. I love his childlike bearded face and cross leggedness.

I am yet to name him though. Any thoughts?