September 12, 2011

Things I've Seen




Saw this on a free food shelf.....inner...cleanser...
Fold Down thing in a bathroom... Ironing board?


Jesus wanted

Domestic Tip #279 - Washing Machine Maintenance

This is my first ‘domestic tip’ (although I felt that #279 was the right number to start at) and the information within is as half-formed and potentially incorrect as most of my other posts. Let me explain the purpose of this. Ok so, In this crazy old life sometimes you need a guiding hand to show you the way on certain issues. I know if i needed to, i could ask my mum, aunty, grandmother or even my dad for some advice on domestic life and I would be handsomely rewarded with some family wisdom, form a closer connection, and indeed carry on their domestic legacy to future generations. Oh how rewarding. I can see it now, us wandering around Bunnings laughing as we accidentally go down the same aisle twice, then partaking in a $2 sausage in bread with onions all before sharing some car-park rage while navigating our way out.

Since I am a child of the internet, by google-searching things like “How to clean a washing machine” or “DIY paving”, it’s almost like I am performing this family activity anyway... because Internet is my parents, siblings and friends, and I never need anything more. So, in an attempt to rekindle the olde worlde charme of sharing information, even though it’s a case of the blind leading the blind, I’m offering my knowledge to you. Again, I really don’t know what I’m doing when it comes to cleaning and washing clothes... but I try to feel my way.

Right now I am listening to my washing machine clean itself. You read that correctly. I never thought such a concept existed, but indeed a washing machine, used to wash clothes, needs washing. It’s one of those surprising things you learn once you move out, that you actually have to look after your things and administer maintenance. You, like myself, may have thought that a washing machine was so clean that it was almost a sterile environment, and if you ever needed to have an emergency birth in the house, that’d be the place to squat. You couldn’t be more wrong. There exists a build up of gunk and detergent and whatever else out of sight in the barrel which needs to be removed somehow.

Papa Google told me that a shit-load of Vinegar into a hot wash would work – no clothes. So here I sit, wondering if the problem has gone away yet, and also slightly afeared at what I will be surprised by next. Maybe “Oh yeah, didn’t you know you’re supposed to use strawberry topping on a Q-tip under the lip of the toilet every fortnight otherwise your house floods?!” or “Holy crap, what do you mean you have never vacuumed the inside of your roof!? Fire hazard!”
I hate those things, being a kid was so simple – everything was magically done and you didn’t consider the time or monetary costs of things, nor did you constantly feel guilty for doing NOTHING and try to think of more constructive things to do with your time. You could spend a whole week in PJ’s or play video games for a marathon 8 hours or so, and nobody said a thing. It was like you could do what you want, when you want and just do the things that made you happy, without being questioned or expected to behave in a certain way. Seriously, is this behaviour still allowed in Adults? Maybe I should hire a cleaner, gardener, personal shopper, scribe, and bedside nurse to assist me with showering and toilet functions so I can spend more time effin’ and jeffin’. Hmmm...