falafels and tabouli in my tummy

Oonce in a while, when the planets align and a soft sense of universal peace and tranquility descends upon the land, a little idea fairy pops up and whispers something brilliant in your ear in that one moment of perfect clarity. Usually, but not in every case, the idea is viable if not brilliant. In this recent case the idea fairy was named Squelch, and he had quite a brilliant idea. His idea was that we should have a dinner party and make a delicious feast that was healthy, balanced and possibly vegan. I can do vegan, and can usually do healthy, but when it comes to 'balanced' I am clueless. I don't know much about the properties of food I'm afraid, I am quite the ignoramus on THAT side of things. But no matter! The challenge was set and I ran with it.

Let me show you the recipe to a nice small dinner party:

SETP 1) Invite some people:

STEP 2) Decide what to make. In this case: Falafels, tabouli, hommus and minted yoghurt

STEP 3) Buy the ingredients

STEP 4) Prepare the Hommus before anyone arrives, but make sure you forget to take photos.

STEP 5) Start making the falafels while everyone catches up, and take some cool photos:

STEP 6) When frying the falafels in scalding hot vegetable oil, make sure to dip 2 of your fingertips into said oil until you obtain blisters under your fingernails. This is quite integral to the process. After this, you can swear, run your hands under cold water or cry: this is optional.

STEP 7) Make your dinner guests help you to prepare the Tabouli salad. Get 1 guest to chop herbs, and get the other to juice lemons to yield 3 cups of chopped herbs and 1/2 cup lemon juice respectively. It is imperative that they both simultaneously fill the set of measuring cups (which are connected) with ingredients while each is oblivious of the other's actions. Then make sure that the herb chopper picks up the cup of herbs to add to the bowl, and consequently spills the 1/2 cup lemon juice all over the bench. Then you must interject and pick up the 1/2 cup thus spilling the full cup of herbs also. This is when you have to work as a team to scrape all the liquid into the bowl over the side of the bench. End Result:

STEP 8) Get your housemate (his name must be Maki) to make minted yoghurt by adding too much mint onto the top of the yoghurt. Proceed to freak out as he lowers the stirring spoon, and ask him to remove some of the mint to be used for the tabouli. Watch as he takes one handful out, then dips his hand into the yoghurt again pulling out a gob of yoghurt and mint, then argue with everyone about whether it should be thrown out or put back. Put it back.

STEP 9) Set the table and serve:

STEP 10) Eat in silence interrupted only by professions of orgasmic flavour, and outlandinsh claims that it is the best tabouli ever eaten, or the best falafels ever eaten. To ensure these compliments occur, make sure you eat at around 8.30pm so that your guests are half-starved and delirious. They will not remember what they have said!

STEP 11) Cap it all off with an unexpected visitor, and leave the dishes until the next day!

RECIPES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Tabouli for about 6 people plus leftovers

- 1 cup Burghul (cracked wheat) in 1 cup of boiling water until puffed and dry
- 4 large tomatoes chopped finely
- 2 cups finely chopped parsley
- 1 cup finely chopped coriander
- 6 Tbsp chopped mint
- 1/2 cup lemon juice
- 1 Tbsp olive oil

* Put all together in a big bowl and mix

FALAFEL

- 2 tins chickpeas
- 1 small onion finely diced
- 3 cloves garlic - crushed
- 3/4 cup chopped coriander
- 1/2 cup chopped flat leaf parsley
- 1/4 cup chopped mint finely chopped
- 1 Tbsp cumin seeds
- 1 Tbsp Coriander seeds
- 1/4 tsp bi-carb soda
- salt and pepper
- 1/3 cup flour
- OPTIONAL: egg replacement equivalent of 1 egg
- sesame seeds
- vegetable oil for frying

Mash Chickpeas in a blender
Cook cumin and coriander seeds in a hot dry pan until fragrant.
Add everything to a bowl and mix well.
Form into little balls and roll through sesame seeds, squashing slightly.
Fry in oil a few at a time, then drail on paper towel.
Do not dip your finger tips in.... it hurts

a letter of resignation from friendship

Daragh said I should write this letter to him. I must say it was very therapeutic. He will no doubt rebut or return the slander...

Dear Daragh Quinn,

I'm writing to tell you that we can no longer be friends.

I'm sure you are already aware of the reasons why I detest your pitiful existence but I will have to re-iterate because so far you have managed to ignore my multiple pleas to curl up and die, and still cling onto the frail bond that BARELY exists between us.

OK, so for starters - get a real name. Do you know how annoying it was to figure out how your name was pronounced when I first saw it? Well i'll tell you - it was pretty fucking hard. I would have much prefered to spend that time and energy scraping under my toenails and eating whatever I found. And all of that energy I SELFLESSLY, that's right SELFLESSLY, expended on your behalf was thrown back in my face the next time I spoke to my cousin and she told me your name was DA-RA like DA in "dapple" and RA like in "Ranga". She laughed at me for thinking your name was "da-rahhh" pronounced in a hoity toity kind of way. Right now I would love to dissolve into an undiscipherable Courtney Love style facebook rant detailing how annoying you are chiefly because of your dumb FACE!

Another reason you should be castrated before you damage the planet any further is that you probably have Famers Union iced coffee for sperm by now, and aside form the fact that your child would have severe brain damage under normal circumstances, it would just be murder to bring it (that's right) into the world. Even if you tried to find the most desirable genetic female to carry your child, I'm pretty sure that it would just drag her down into the pits of hell with it. You have no chance, and I aim to end your gentic line now. You know that guy who always follows you around and then kicks you in the groin at unexpected moments? Well yes, I hired him. I'm just trying to make the world a better place here fella, it's what MJ would have wanted...

So I have to admit that you aren't TOTALLY useless. I guess as an engineer you design parts for drills or something, right? Also you draw comics sometimes which are funny once you have explained it to me for the second time as I cannot usually get onto the correct wavelength to understand. Unlike you, I do not get "mistaken" for an acid tripper at work and get relocated to another state. Maybe when you are dead they will use one of your drills to dig the grave, or if you are burned alive they will use your comics as kindling? We can only hope.

Another thing that annoys me is that you live in Perth. Come on. Who lives in Perth?? I suppose it is just that much further away that I dont have to associate with you and your stinky bumholeface! I guess that's a plus. When I am making falafels tonight I will end up sad because i just know that when I am trying to form the little balls I will be so angry that you are alive that I will pound them into non-existence. Then no falafels for me :(

The real reason that I hate you so much is hard for me to go into without wanting to snap the keyboard into little pieces... but here I go. When I met you - the first, only and hopefully LAST time - I discovered something about you which made my blood boil. The fact that you were so non-chalant about it made it even worse. The reason I wish you dead is because you had never heard of that trick where you stand in a doorway and press the backs of your hands hard against the frame for an extended period of time and then step forward and put your hands at your side and watch the magic fun fun times ensue. I just cannot live with that, I'm sorry.

It doesn't bother me that you are a racist or a sexist or addicted to smothering yourself in farmers union iced coffee and having dogs lick you clean... none of that matters. Everyone has their quirks.. But this i will not stand for. I WILL NOT.

Now, If I have learnt anything from TV - Dexter has taught me the best way to dispose of unwanted problems. The next time you see me Daragh, will be when you walk into your front room and see everything covered in glad wrap, and i will pop out frombehind the door and fulfill my destiny. There is no other way. It doesn't matter that you TRIED the trick at the pub, the damage had been done long ago.

Well old frenemy... I guess this is it.

Until the Gladwrap,
Jade

the demise of marilyn and the rise of emo-white

If I may steal your attention for a moment from that scintilating post title, I'd like to show you these cupcakes that Hayden and Josh delivered to me at work yesterday :D

They came from a store called The Organic Food and Wine Deli on Degraves Street in Melbz. I told HAydz about this place a few months back, and I was planning to go there one lunch-break and check it out and perhaps buy a family sized Vegan Pie for dinner - but then i thought of a better way to spend a billion dollars. *ba boom TISH* Not that I know the cost of said pie, but I can imagine it is pricey. Anyway these cupcakes were delicious and I highly recommend you check this place out. It looks like they have all kinds of goodies! If you can't get there I may have to make it possible for you to visit vicariously through my blog ;)

Ok, onto the GRIT! So I was told that the re-growth on my bombshell blonde hair was beginning to look rather 'skanky'. nice. So I went and got the advice of the apparently clever employees at Hairhouse Warehouse. The girl there told me that my natural hair colour was black judging by the roots. I explained that she had her facts wrong, and that my hair is in fact dark brown. I should have taken the hint and got out of there right then! However, silly me, I did not leave! She explained about how hair colour reacts with bleached hair and got me $45 worth of creams and tubes from the shelf and helpfully took them to the register. I wasn't actually planning on buying them until Thursday but then I realised my night plans had been cancelled so I had a whole night free to do it. But then I realised that I probably didn't have enough money in my acount due to my weekend spending spree and the mortgage being taken from the account that morning. hmm. When my card declined I should have just realised it wasnt meant to be, but after she had handwritten the instructions for me, how could I say no!? TELL ME!!!

Mr. Hayden came through and put it on his card for me, and when I got home i set about getting ready!

Step 1) Mix 1 tube of bird shit with 1/2 tube of plaque and 60mL fresh semen.

It should look a little something like this:

yes, that is chocolate yogo! Then divide your hair into 4 sections and start to apply the yogo until you look like a top deck chocolate.

Then wait 35 minutes and take stupid photos of what you would look like as a boy...

Rinse, Dry and repeat process. I should have seen it coming, but now I look like a fucking emo (i am doing an emo pose on purpose)...

Maybe 5 years ago I would have been OK with this, but these days I am not so keen. Dragana at work says it will fade within a week, I sure hope so. This is supposedly my "natural colour" according to the girl at Hairhouse Warehouse hmm.... I have one thing to say to you honey: wipe off that angel face and go back to high-school.

Anyway, I must apologise to everyone as my standard of writing is slipping. I re-read an old post of mine and it was, might I say, a joy to read. But these days I seem to have developed a rather cavalier attitude towards my writing. And I keep spelling simple words wrong that I mastered in primary school. Like "Piece" and "brought/bought". I think my brain is melting - there is no other explanation for it. I will try to remedy this and report back.

Jade (emo face) out

quasi-subarashi weekend

hello dear people. I am feeling quite 'blah' today, so i thought some blogging might cheer me up a little. Let me start by showing you this amazing Pizza we made late last week!! It involves some "vegan chicken" that Hayden had in the freezer, and a whole lot of delishhhh veg. We cooked the "chicken" in some bbq sauce and then put it on the base with tomato, capsicum, mushroom, cheese, smokey BBQ sauce and after that was cooked we added avocado and spinach and more BBQ sauce. It. was. amazing.

Vegan chicken tasted quite a bit like chicken haha. Poor Hayden came home and I was excitedly telling him about the pizza and then i realised that i had put a lot of cheese on there meaning he couldn't have any. Sorry Hayden!!

So on Saturday I did a clean out and took 3 bags of stuff to the op-shop and only spent $10 there (and mum and I visited 3 different ones!!) on essential items such as a new ironing board cover and a kitchen utensil holder/vase.

When we got home we fixed my chest of drawers as the bottoms were falling out, and I put in new drawer lining.

I had this baby blocks/teddy bears print previously which I didn't really realise until the other day. Turns out my mum put that drawer lining in there when my older brother was coming home from the hospital after being born. 1986 styyyle. She kept a bit for sentimental reasons but we chucked out the rest. The chest of drawers are suprisingly well built and they are just my style (white antique)! I was thinking of putting cute crystal knobs on it but the current handles are attached by 2 screws which mean i have to pick a replacement with 2 screws also, otherwise i'll have ugly screw holes on either side of my cute crystal knobs. poo-bum.

Anyway I just found that pink polkadot wrapping paper from the Reject Shop or somewhere for $2, and stuck it in place with double sided tape :)

Also on our outing, mum and I went to Bunnings to check out the plant selection. I got some cool herbs and things to pot up for transfer to the new house :)

I got: Oregano, Mint, a Bay Tree, Tomato Plant, and 2 mini-capsicum plants. I am super excited about the Bay Tree as I use dried bay leaves in just about everything (except for toilet paper replacement...althouuugh it would give me a nice "natural smell"...

Once these get growing, I will buy some more... I am thinking a chilli plant next... Oh yes, and I went searching through the dense forest that is the pumpkin patch to find the cantelope... and here it is - larger than life:

It is almost ready!! Also we have about 6 pumpkins growing and they are BIG! Anyway, the nice weather continued into Sunday too. Josh had to do some packing as he was moving out that afternoon. We slept in so no packing was done. Then we went to St. Kilda to see Hayden's Band "Small Town Fiasco" play at the Espy! The weather down there was sexual, sooo nice! Across the road the St. Kilda Market was in full swing, but we opted for some lunch at the Espy Kitchen. I got this delicious turkish lamb pizza...

So good. We hurriedly ate and went to see the band play in the Gershwin (sp?) room at 2pm then had to hurriedly leave so Josh could pack. His dad showed up at around 4.30 and we loaded up all of his books, clothes, chest of drawers, bookshelf, and mattress and were on our way to Flemington.

Yeah so it was a bit sad (i'm only playing it down because i know he reads my blog) :P no no, it wasn't too bad. He ended up staying with me last night because he hasn't got his job transfer yet and had to work at 6am this morning so it was easier. He is doing the same thing on Tuesday night and Friday night too. I'm looking at this week as a phasing out period, where he is only gone half of the time. He gets transfered to the city store next week and then I will be able to see his work from my work :) maybe we can have lunch dates.

His new house is pretty cool, while old and delapidated at the same time. It has quite a charm about it. It is close to everything that is awesome and has the capability to make me super jealous. I can't wait to move closer to the city but it probably won't be until next year sometime as I dislike moving house twice a year, plus I will have to weigh up my finances to see if it is even viable! Would be very cool though. Josh's new bedroom is pretty huge, but it's not as cool as Dean's room downstairs. Dean (josh step-bro) 's room is actually a wine cellar off the kitchen and has a red wooden door and no window. I will take photos next time if Dean is cool with that. I think it is the best bedroom ever. It definately doesn't sound appealing but it just smashes it! You'll see.

Anyway, I have nothing funny to say. I am so sorry. Oh yes. I really want to re-read the twilight books. HAHA. that is probably funny to a lot of people. but seriously.

Also, my cousin Bec says she might come visit me from Adelaide over Easter which is about 3 weeks away :D how exciting. I could use a dose of her hypo-ness!! Have a good day!

on-line shopping spree

I just went a bit nuts on my break. I bought 3 t-shirts from Threadless which were on sale so the whole order including shipping was $48. NEATO!! Here's one i got for $9. YAY!

also i saw this one and had a bitovalol...

Also, I bought a BENTO BOX SET off eBay which was a total of $30 with shipping etc. Can't wait to get my hands on it! Oh the wonders I will fill it with!! ^_^

Oh, and yesterday I was looking at Pin Up Girl Clothing, and If i had been paid, I would have gone bonkers on it. But alas, I had to refrain (like Edward with Bella in the first 3 books haha).

Here are a few choice items i want want want...

yaaaaay!

Well I suppose because in my new house i will have a * WaLk In rObE * i need to fill it with something right?? hehe. Best news ever, can't believe I will have a walk in robe :D

helloooooo cedric mondegreen

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daftly diy: chalkboard dressing screen

So in my usual slow-paced fashion i picked up working on my DIY project again. If you can't cast your memory back to the B.C. Days when i started it... the original tale is here. So with the long weekend ahead of me i thought there was no better time than the present to finish off my BLACKBOARD DRESSING SCREEN!!

I was 95% finished, and just had to apply one more coat of blackboard paint and once it had dried, nail it into place into the recesses of the screen...

those were the little tacks i used, very cute. I don't look at handyman-ship the same way as normal people. nails are cute and sandpaper is just misunderstood. if only people could look past its rough exterior...

But i digress, here is my completed screen:


i have to think of something to do with the back now. i didn't realise i had somehow gotten paint on the crisp white underside. i still don't know how i managed to do it..

Also, although it doesnt fit in with the rest of the post, i saw this on the Astor Poster in the bathroom and had a bitovalol.

what. the. fuck. i can't say i have really seen Robert Pattinson act. I have seen him in harry potter but simply can't remember his performance. i cant imagine him playing salvadore dali. It is hard to look at him though. i wish i didnt know what "edward" looked like in movie form before i read the twilight books. i would have painted a very different edward in my head, that's for shizz. although because he is EDWARD i am in love with him a bit. a lot. i would die for him. mlit. not really but it does keep me extremely happy when reading about it or hurriedly and quietly talking about it with my fellow twilight friends. speaking of which, i am on my way to the end of the last book. what will i do after it...? i'll tell you what. the movies, thats what. then, i suppose i'll throw myself off a cliff and hope for Carlisle to come to the rescue and change me. sadly, and very unexpectedly MLIT.

chester's weekend escapades

so, on the weekend i bought Chester a new collar as his old one was officially dead. When he came home not wearing it, i assumed either he was too ashamed to been seen in it, or he had tried to hang himself with it, and fell through. The next day he was wearing it again, but i knew he wasn't happy about it. It's still a mystery as to where it went for 24 hours - i suspect it fell off when he was playing with the dogs 2 doors down. whatever. anyway, here are the first few hours of his new collar: full of adventure.





his funderful day was capped off with a mexican stand-off with his frenemy from next door. I don't know this cat's name nor do i care too *sniff*

daydreaming

well i am quite angry today that I left my camera USB cord at home, so I can't show you the DIY project I FINALLY finished over the long weekend!! Instead I thought it would be a good opportunity for me to daydream about some ideas i would love to bring into my new house. I have a limited budget, and i can't get too carried away thinking about my favourite *DrEaM FeaTuReS* as i have expensive taste and limited space ha!

I love this light blue, I want it for my bedroom. I found it on the Dulux website- The light blue is "Angora Blue" and the dark blue is "Frills". I also have high(ish) ceilings with cream finishings. I have been thinking about this for a while and i still like the idea. So far in my bedrooms I have had yellow, mauve, magenta, burgundy, and burgundy again. I think it's time for a change. I have all cream furniture too, and a black wrought iron bed with white fluffy bed-sheets. sounds good to meeee!

I found this image on Brabourne Farm blog - I already have one vintage suitcase (in brown). I will need to get some more I think. Great storage idea as I have a lot of... what's the word... oh yes: shit!

Floor to ceiling bookshelves *sigh* Another a great storage idea. The house isn't huge so I will need to get creative I think - especially with Maki and Hayden living there too. I have lots of nicknacks and cookbooks and DVDs and things like that. I think even a small compartment bookcase like from IKEA would do the trick. Josh is moving out on Friday and is taking his massive bookshelf with him so I will have to keep my eyes open at the op-shops to see any that I could turn into white ones :P The above image is also from Brabourne Farm but I believe was first in Homes & Gardens Mag.

Also from Brabourne Farm - my gosh I love mantlepieces. I don't have an open fire, but i just love them. I wish there was some way i could have a wall shelf like this without it looking stupid.

Best Laundry ever - i found it on Brabourne Farm again (originally from Easy Living Mag)! When I moved out of home a year ago, I had big plans for my laundry, however nothing eventuated. But Now... Now.... NOW I STILL WANT TO DO SOMETHING!! Maybe a nice paint job in the laundry might make me feel happier about doing washing. I think ironing is my real problem though. If you see me in a wrinkly T-shirt don't bother commenting cos i seriously couldn't care less. It takes hours to get through the ironing pile!!! Sure you could put a movie on while you are doing it, but how depressing is it when the movie finishes and you are still half-way through the pile. I suppose I have only done the "washing pile" twice since moving out, and Josh: zero. So you can see there is usually a back-log. I have clothes in there that i forgot i own. haha. Before I do any ironing I need to get a better ironing board, our cover has disintegrated from the sunshine. So bad.

omg i almost just jizzed my pants. I THINK my new house might have a walk-in robe. It may be me just imagining that and getting my own hopes up... but it might just be... holy crap. I'll have to look at the plans tonight!! I am already thinking of a curtain to hang across it. Oh please oh please oh please have one!!!!!

Anyway my plan is that all this decorating and obsessing about my new house will make me forget that Josh is living elsewhere for university purposes. I'm sure I can read home decor blogs all night until I pass out, then wake up in the morning too consumed with my home decor hangover to remember reality. i'm good at supressing negative memories haha

japan diary entry #2

Thursday 27th November 2008

We're on our way to Tokyo now. Last night was funny, we got off at Nankai Namba station and got sucked into the fun bright arcades and got mega lost! Everyone was so wow'ed by the lights and stuff, and we were REALLY hungry. We had to ask for directions like 5 times and all were different answers. We ended up walking the wrong direction for about 15 minutes. Finally we got Taxis and found that the hotel hadn't put in our booking properly. I had an email confirming my details but they were waiting for a reply or something?! Anyway they called their sister hotel and we all got to share an apartment with 3 beds and 3 futons. Slept like a brick. One of the guys we asked for directions from was Japanese but had an American Accent and a GPS phone. He was funny. He was funny, trying to sell us different accommodation I think.

The guys are trying really hard to speak Japanese, it's so amazing! Corey and Evan have notebooks and are writing down all the new words. And the other guys are asking questions constantly, like "how do you say...?"

We're on the shinkansen at the moment. Stevo and I just went into the smoking room and had a Camel. There was a queue forming so we left.

* WOW that was the last diary entry hahaha... very short-lived. After this, I wrote a 10 page story about Josh and his friend Nick Cave. The story also includes French gypsies, Colin from the Decemberists, the Flaming Lips' "yoshimi", magical eggs, some At The Drive-In quotes (i suspect i was drunk), the Impossible Sit-up, Opposite Day, the end of the world and a whole lot of Internet acronyms ie. "BTW, I CBF TTM ATM IRL..."

* Also I found this memo that i wrote on a blank page:

MEMO: Who would have thought that glitter could be so repulsive to the senses?

I don't know... I don't know...