someone tells you that you look homeless when you try on a beanie?
Needless to say, I didn't buy the beanie... and my head is still cold.
April 29, 2009
April 28, 2009
The Mystery of the Black Stocking Socks
i have been finding little black stocking socks sporadically over the past... hmm maybe 2 years in various, or not so various places.
The first time i was at my boyfriend's house and found one on his floor, amongst the clothes, homework, dvds, cds and rubbish. I picked it up and went "hmm.." regarding it with utter confusion. He said "What is it?" to which i replied "It's a stocking sock." he asked if it was mine and i replied in the negative, for i don't wear ankle high stocking socks. Then i got angry "Well whose is it??" to which he got defensive "I don't know, how should i know?!". It was rude of me to assume foul play, i know. I threw it in his laundry, and thought that was the end of the stocking sock.
Wrong. A short while later, one turned up IN HIS BED! I held it up again and he started to laugh at the expression on my face. He swore he was as alarmed as I was. He had no clue how it got there. My mind naturally, and unfairly, jumped to horrible conclusions which just upset me. He was kind of amused/insulted at my reaction, and talked me around and said it was probably his mums, to which she verified that it was- although she didn't know how it got there. OK Stocking sock thing over.
Wrong again unfortunately. I found one nestled in the bottom of his backpack!!! So now i was thinking that perhaps he was a cross-dresser. I thought he should tell me the truth if he liked wearing ladies clothes. "I have some great stockings if you want." I said, jokingly. He didn't think me to be funny at all :) He said his mum had borrowed the bag.
Ok so now it is 2009, and we have moved in together. Last week i found another shin-high black stocking sock on our bedroom floor, near the door. I swear he is doing this to taunt me. he was brushing his teeth before bed, and i walked over to the bathroom door holding it by the tips of my fingernails, and held it up to him. He saw it and rolled his eyes. After spitting out the toothpaste he asked if i thought he was cheating on me. I said "not really, but why the fuck are there always stocking socks everywhere i go?!!?!?!" then i asked what he does with them, wear them on his feet or to 'wrap his package' or something else strange. He said he didnt even know it was there, and thought it was mine.
Then this morning, walking down the ramp at my local train station, what was on the path before me... but a fucking.black.stocking.sock. What is this?! Why am I being taunted?? I hate black stocking socks! They are the bane of my existence, they are the thorn in the side of our relationship, they are the elephant in the room, the black fly in your chardonnay, a death row pardon, 2 minutes.. oh wait...
The first time i was at my boyfriend's house and found one on his floor, amongst the clothes, homework, dvds, cds and rubbish. I picked it up and went "hmm.." regarding it with utter confusion. He said "What is it?" to which i replied "It's a stocking sock." he asked if it was mine and i replied in the negative, for i don't wear ankle high stocking socks. Then i got angry "Well whose is it??" to which he got defensive "I don't know, how should i know?!". It was rude of me to assume foul play, i know. I threw it in his laundry, and thought that was the end of the stocking sock.
Wrong. A short while later, one turned up IN HIS BED! I held it up again and he started to laugh at the expression on my face. He swore he was as alarmed as I was. He had no clue how it got there. My mind naturally, and unfairly, jumped to horrible conclusions which just upset me. He was kind of amused/insulted at my reaction, and talked me around and said it was probably his mums, to which she verified that it was- although she didn't know how it got there. OK Stocking sock thing over.
Wrong again unfortunately. I found one nestled in the bottom of his backpack!!! So now i was thinking that perhaps he was a cross-dresser. I thought he should tell me the truth if he liked wearing ladies clothes. "I have some great stockings if you want." I said, jokingly. He didn't think me to be funny at all :) He said his mum had borrowed the bag.
Ok so now it is 2009, and we have moved in together. Last week i found another shin-high black stocking sock on our bedroom floor, near the door. I swear he is doing this to taunt me. he was brushing his teeth before bed, and i walked over to the bathroom door holding it by the tips of my fingernails, and held it up to him. He saw it and rolled his eyes. After spitting out the toothpaste he asked if i thought he was cheating on me. I said "not really, but why the fuck are there always stocking socks everywhere i go?!!?!?!" then i asked what he does with them, wear them on his feet or to 'wrap his package' or something else strange. He said he didnt even know it was there, and thought it was mine.
Then this morning, walking down the ramp at my local train station, what was on the path before me... but a fucking.black.stocking.sock. What is this?! Why am I being taunted?? I hate black stocking socks! They are the bane of my existence, they are the thorn in the side of our relationship, they are the elephant in the room, the black fly in your chardonnay, a death row pardon, 2 minutes.. oh wait...
April 23, 2009
Lantern Man Painting
I recently bought a whole bunch of cheap tiny canvases in order to heighten my painting skills, so that one day i might be good enough to be pleaded with to do a nude portrait of Johnny Depp. It could happen. Anyway.
Here is Phase 1 of Lantern Man, my newest foray into the painting world. I started with silhouettes as IMO they are easy, i don't see myself going into still life anytime soon. Johnny will be disappointed :D
Next I am going to add some colour, but i kinda like how it looks now, so I am worried i will eff it up.
Phase 2 of lantern man painting with some Orange and Yellow! My fella really loves this painting, and he said he likes it as is. So this is actually COMPLETE LANTERN MAN! YAY!
Here is Phase 1 of Lantern Man, my newest foray into the painting world. I started with silhouettes as IMO they are easy, i don't see myself going into still life anytime soon. Johnny will be disappointed :D
Next I am going to add some colour, but i kinda like how it looks now, so I am worried i will eff it up.
Phase 2 of lantern man painting with some Orange and Yellow! My fella really loves this painting, and he said he likes it as is. So this is actually COMPLETE LANTERN MAN! YAY!
daftly d.i.y
This is my first post about my "home improvements" and general handyman greatness. Over the last couple of years I have been hoarding things I have no real use for, but because they look nice. Recently it was hard rubbish time in my neighbourhood (the ghetto) and my boy and I were driving around in search of a simple desk for me to put my art crud on, rather than on the dining table *blush*. Then, what should I see before me on the nature-strip* but the most amazing desk i have ever seen, and if I were to compare it to the standard of other hard rubbish collection items, then my head would explode. Therefore, I will settle upon the fact that it's an awesome desk in general.
* I bet this sounds funny to anyone NOT Australian. Nature Strip... Oh man, now it sounds funny to me :(
This sexy desk is my newest project, and instead of adding it to the pile I have decided to begin work on it right away. Here are the original bare-all portraits of the desky:
Apologies for the darkness, dang garage light is dim...
Anyway, after giving it a bit of a clean, i aquired some white gloss paint and a brush and some turps. I have then proceeded to paint inside the little cubby holes. I have done 3 coats, over the course of 3 nights, and it might need a 4th... maybe.
My plan is to get some nice a) Contact paper, b) wrapping paper, c) wall paper, and stick this to the backing inside the cuppy holes.
I also want to add a blotting board to the fold down part. Of course i also need to repair the handles, the top shelf, and the hinges that allow the front to fold down.
Bit of a job.
............
.......
...
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~Stay tuned~
April 22, 2009
On the hunt for a good Okonomiyaki
Much like a feverish person stranded on a desert island, I too feel stranded in Melbourne without the abundance of Okonomiyaki. This sumptuous dish from Japan is one of my favourite dishes, other favourites include... hmm, well.. everything. I much prefer the Hiroshimayaki style which, instead of the ingredients being mixed into the 'batter', they are layered. Here are a few photos of some great Okonomiyaki being prepared somewhere in the Hondori Arcade in Hiroshima- December 2008.
Then it was flipped over while the noodles cooked beside it. I think they used Yakisoba sauce or some equivalent to give the noodles some more flavour. Next the noodles and babbage/batter pile were added together, and finally flipped onto a thin layer of egg.
It is then topped with the delicious brown okonomiyaki sauce and spring onions. I love to have mayo with mine, and extra helpings of okonomiyaki sauce, just in case.
SOOOOOOOOO back in Melbourne, I did what any curious person would do when looking for answers, I googled it. From a myriad of blogs and articles i learnt that "Melbourne's Best Okonomiyaki" was served at Teppansan on Swanston Street. So I thought we'd get the crew together and give it a try. Being sophisticated travellers and food coinessuers, naturally we took our little monacles along with us, and our handy dandy mental notebooks to make an adequate (personal) review of the fine establishment, let me take you on a journey... to flavour town...
We were too excited to read the menu properly, re-reading the names of the dishes and going "omg omg they have this!!" We started off with Takoyaki and Gyoza. The gyoza here were great, fresh off the grill. The Takoyaki didn't sit well with me, I like them to have a good chunk of octupus, as well as the brown sauce, mayo, bonito, seaweed, and even spring onions - yeah i like it with "the lot" mmmm. I think it only came with brown sauce and seaweed, and the waiter forgot to bring us mayo *sniff sniff* but we are all too cool to complain haha so we ate it without.
Pretty sure we all got Okonomiyaki, i was honestly hoping for hiroshima style even though i know i had little to no chance of it becoming a reality. In fact it was quite different to anything I imagined getting. Below, is my friend Doraemon-orey eating his Okonomiyaki. I had to protect his real face as he will hate how his chopstick fingers look in this photo. You know who you are.
Also, we are not all dressed in white on purpose, it is just a coincidence that all 3 people or shoulders happen to be wearing white. It's not like we are some weird kind of cult or whatever. ANYWAY. Yeah the Okonomiyaki was like a thick batter topped with some grilled onion and meat then folded in half. It was delicious, i don't want to slander the good name of Teppansan, but it was so not what I had hoped for.
As you can see here, this fine specimen started off as a thin layer of batter, topped with cabbage and bacon and flavourings.
Then it was flipped over while the noodles cooked beside it. I think they used Yakisoba sauce or some equivalent to give the noodles some more flavour. Next the noodles and babbage/batter pile were added together, and finally flipped onto a thin layer of egg.It is then topped with the delicious brown okonomiyaki sauce and spring onions. I love to have mayo with mine, and extra helpings of okonomiyaki sauce, just in case.SOOOOOOOOO back in Melbourne, I did what any curious person would do when looking for answers, I googled it. From a myriad of blogs and articles i learnt that "Melbourne's Best Okonomiyaki" was served at Teppansan on Swanston Street. So I thought we'd get the crew together and give it a try. Being sophisticated travellers and food coinessuers, naturally we took our little monacles along with us, and our handy dandy mental notebooks to make an adequate (personal) review of the fine establishment, let me take you on a journey... to flavour town...
Night had fallen, and we gathered outside the little restaurant (me not pictured, muahahaa):
We were too excited to read the menu properly, re-reading the names of the dishes and going "omg omg they have this!!" We started off with Takoyaki and Gyoza. The gyoza here were great, fresh off the grill. The Takoyaki didn't sit well with me, I like them to have a good chunk of octupus, as well as the brown sauce, mayo, bonito, seaweed, and even spring onions - yeah i like it with "the lot" mmmm. I think it only came with brown sauce and seaweed, and the waiter forgot to bring us mayo *sniff sniff* but we are all too cool to complain haha so we ate it without.
Pretty sure we all got Okonomiyaki, i was honestly hoping for hiroshima style even though i know i had little to no chance of it becoming a reality. In fact it was quite different to anything I imagined getting. Below, is my friend Doraemon-orey eating his Okonomiyaki. I had to protect his real face as he will hate how his chopstick fingers look in this photo. You know who you are.
Also, we are not all dressed in white on purpose, it is just a coincidence that all 3 people or shoulders happen to be wearing white. It's not like we are some weird kind of cult or whatever. ANYWAY. Yeah the Okonomiyaki was like a thick batter topped with some grilled onion and meat then folded in half. It was delicious, i don't want to slander the good name of Teppansan, but it was so not what I had hoped for.
OKONOMIYAKI ATTEMPT 1... epic fail. sort of. the food was nice. just not perfect.
I know of a few other places that do Okonomiyaki, so I will try some more. I still imagine i could make a fairly accurate and delicious one. I can make gyoza, and ramen pretty good. I will also collect and scrutinise recipes and present my findings shortly...
adios
March 25, 2009
Lucinda and the Birthday Fairy
Lucinda's birthday comes once a year,
a secret date she keeps quiet for fear
of the birthday fairy finding out
and coming to get her, of this there's no doubt.
Since she was a child, Lucinda's been frightened
and over the years the fear's only been heightened
The stories she'd heard, and the things she was told
were just too much for a child to behold
"The Birthday Fairy is an evil terror,
she'll rip your eyes out, make no error."
each year this is what her brother would say
without fail the day before Lucinda's shh-day.
"Her blood-lust unquenchable, she simply loves the taste
of juiced-up birthday children, no need to even baste!
If she smells a hint of balloon,
a streamer, a present or a choc macaroon
she'll break down your door and grab a clump of your hair
and drag you down to her underground lair"
"And at first glance, her lair seems quite tame
but then you realise you're just a pawn in her game...
She "pin's the tail" on YOU and the pins are all rusty
and she has some cake there, but it's poisoned and dusty."
"It's set up for many with chairs, games and toys
But the only ones present are deceased girls and boys
The bones they surround you, wearing small party hats
and what is that noise? the floor's teeming with rats!"
"You want to get out, but you know there's no way
and your mantra becomes "why'd I have a birthday?!"
The fairy she giggles, a high pitched ugly cackle
And then she flies at you, going for a tackle"
"Of course you're no match for her powers so dark
in comparison to her, you're nothing more than a quark!
she gets you and eats you, with lollies and cake..."
and here, in a sweat Lucinda would awake
This particular year, the dream was quite yucky
and Lucinda awoke in a puddle of mucky
"I'm not going out, i'm not going to work!
I'll stay right here and hide from that jerk!"
Rohan sighed deeply, and got out the gun
And took sentry at the door, his prime yearly fun.
To Lucinda's brother his thoughts they did stray
and to how he'd get his revenge one sweet day...
So right around this time, in about one year
Please try to remember Lucinda's big fear
And whatever you do, don't spill crumbs on her desk,
tiny cake crumbs are what the fairy likes best!
by JK
a secret date she keeps quiet for fear
of the birthday fairy finding out
and coming to get her, of this there's no doubt.
Since she was a child, Lucinda's been frightened
and over the years the fear's only been heightened
The stories she'd heard, and the things she was told
were just too much for a child to behold
"The Birthday Fairy is an evil terror,
she'll rip your eyes out, make no error."
each year this is what her brother would say
without fail the day before Lucinda's shh-day.
"Her blood-lust unquenchable, she simply loves the taste
of juiced-up birthday children, no need to even baste!
If she smells a hint of balloon,
a streamer, a present or a choc macaroon
she'll break down your door and grab a clump of your hair
and drag you down to her underground lair"
"And at first glance, her lair seems quite tame
but then you realise you're just a pawn in her game...
She "pin's the tail" on YOU and the pins are all rusty
and she has some cake there, but it's poisoned and dusty."
"It's set up for many with chairs, games and toys
But the only ones present are deceased girls and boys
The bones they surround you, wearing small party hats
and what is that noise? the floor's teeming with rats!"
"You want to get out, but you know there's no way
and your mantra becomes "why'd I have a birthday?!"
The fairy she giggles, a high pitched ugly cackle
And then she flies at you, going for a tackle"
"Of course you're no match for her powers so dark
in comparison to her, you're nothing more than a quark!
she gets you and eats you, with lollies and cake..."
and here, in a sweat Lucinda would awake
This particular year, the dream was quite yucky
and Lucinda awoke in a puddle of mucky
"I'm not going out, i'm not going to work!
I'll stay right here and hide from that jerk!"
Rohan sighed deeply, and got out the gun
And took sentry at the door, his prime yearly fun.
To Lucinda's brother his thoughts they did stray
and to how he'd get his revenge one sweet day...
So right around this time, in about one year
Please try to remember Lucinda's big fear
And whatever you do, don't spill crumbs on her desk,
tiny cake crumbs are what the fairy likes best!
by JK
December 14, 2008
one night in osaka last november...
I found this draft...
last night was awesome. we are staying in Shinsaibashi in Osaka which has turned out in our favour to be a fucking awesome spot for fun times of the disorderly nature. it was about mmm 8 or 9ish, and time had eluded us as it often does here. it may have something to do with the fact that we don't wake up until lunchtime, but i digress... it was our first night knockin aboot in osaka, and it was a friday also which added to the concoction of fun. we (corey and trav and myself) decided to get some ramen and started to walk around our neighbourhood in searce of such a feast. immediately we were immersed in a sea of lights and shops and of course insane people on jitenshya adventures who ring their bike bells about 1 second before they slam the brakes on and you can almost feel their perfectly sculpted hair moving in the wind (pfft as if it moves) as they are thrown forward in motion. we walked aimlessly for a few minutes, until we came into a large (in japanese standards) clearing which had a circluar brick clearing with 2 levels seperated by steps. ok bad description, but i am hungover. the bottom was a circle, then it increased in size with the 2 or 3 steps, and the top level had seats and benches and a fountain. also now i know where all the rubbish bins of japan have gone. there were roughly 6 in that area, some days you might carry a bag of food rubbish and empty cans for 2 or 3 hours before you spot a bin... anyway... there were japanese skaters trick skating a makeshift ramp, and there were some anglo punks knocking about also, a few of which turned out to be from brunswick area in melbourne. as it is legal to drink on the streets here, everyone was steadily becoming more drunk thanks to the convenience store opposite us, selling a bevy of japanese beer and canned cocktails. the police showed up a few times to tell the skaters off, but as the skaters were mad sick rebels they kept skating. the police who aren't so fierce just kept coming back saying a few words here and there, and then disappearing. we then found out the police box was right next door. lawwwl. if it was melbourne, the cops would have smashed the boards to smithereens the second time they had to come back. i was trying to convince trav to make friends with the skaters and show them his moves, but he said he needed to be more drunk in order to get the courage (but that would severely deminish his skill) haha. He ended up making friends with some guy that owned a skate shop nearby, and he thought he was king of it all. corey and i were trying to shake off the attention of these japanese dudes who wanted us to go dancing with them hehehe. also corey was eyeballing this really stylish japanese girl and her friends, and then he went to get a drink. while he was gone she walked over to me and trav and was all "where do you from?" (so cute) and we thought they wanted to be our friends. turned out after a few minutes of chatting they were just working as recruiters for a club. getting people to go there. pfft. PFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFTTTTT!!!! yeah it was a busy night, so many new people. also this american guy we met called dave, his japanese was impecable, even despite the fact that he was paraletic drunk. he had this loud craziness about him that reminded me of matthew lillard (stu from scream / shaggy from scooby doo), he was a champpppp, so funny. he was just yelling out to locals and they would come up to him and chat and make friends, it was amazing. i think he was living / working in the area. anyway. america town triangle park is fun, you should go there. jk over and out
last night was awesome. we are staying in Shinsaibashi in Osaka which has turned out in our favour to be a fucking awesome spot for fun times of the disorderly nature. it was about mmm 8 or 9ish, and time had eluded us as it often does here. it may have something to do with the fact that we don't wake up until lunchtime, but i digress... it was our first night knockin aboot in osaka, and it was a friday also which added to the concoction of fun. we (corey and trav and myself) decided to get some ramen and started to walk around our neighbourhood in searce of such a feast. immediately we were immersed in a sea of lights and shops and of course insane people on jitenshya adventures who ring their bike bells about 1 second before they slam the brakes on and you can almost feel their perfectly sculpted hair moving in the wind (pfft as if it moves) as they are thrown forward in motion. we walked aimlessly for a few minutes, until we came into a large (in japanese standards) clearing which had a circluar brick clearing with 2 levels seperated by steps. ok bad description, but i am hungover. the bottom was a circle, then it increased in size with the 2 or 3 steps, and the top level had seats and benches and a fountain. also now i know where all the rubbish bins of japan have gone. there were roughly 6 in that area, some days you might carry a bag of food rubbish and empty cans for 2 or 3 hours before you spot a bin... anyway... there were japanese skaters trick skating a makeshift ramp, and there were some anglo punks knocking about also, a few of which turned out to be from brunswick area in melbourne. as it is legal to drink on the streets here, everyone was steadily becoming more drunk thanks to the convenience store opposite us, selling a bevy of japanese beer and canned cocktails. the police showed up a few times to tell the skaters off, but as the skaters were mad sick rebels they kept skating. the police who aren't so fierce just kept coming back saying a few words here and there, and then disappearing. we then found out the police box was right next door. lawwwl. if it was melbourne, the cops would have smashed the boards to smithereens the second time they had to come back. i was trying to convince trav to make friends with the skaters and show them his moves, but he said he needed to be more drunk in order to get the courage (but that would severely deminish his skill) haha. He ended up making friends with some guy that owned a skate shop nearby, and he thought he was king of it all. corey and i were trying to shake off the attention of these japanese dudes who wanted us to go dancing with them hehehe. also corey was eyeballing this really stylish japanese girl and her friends, and then he went to get a drink. while he was gone she walked over to me and trav and was all "where do you from?" (so cute) and we thought they wanted to be our friends. turned out after a few minutes of chatting they were just working as recruiters for a club. getting people to go there. pfft. PFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFTTTTT!!!! yeah it was a busy night, so many new people. also this american guy we met called dave, his japanese was impecable, even despite the fact that he was paraletic drunk. he had this loud craziness about him that reminded me of matthew lillard (stu from scream / shaggy from scooby doo), he was a champpppp, so funny. he was just yelling out to locals and they would come up to him and chat and make friends, it was amazing. i think he was living / working in the area. anyway. america town triangle park is fun, you should go there. jk over and out
December 9, 2008
busking in japan-land
it crossed our minds that if we simply illegally busked, we could make a small fortune of yen, which would currently be next to nothing in AUD. After observing the lcoals, we decided that busking for coin is about as rare as seeing a cat dressed in a tutu sitting on a booster seat eating at a dinner table, and howling... oh wait i saw that on jap tv last night. disregard.. anyway, people here busk for the sheer joy. rockabilly guys dance around yoyogi park in harajuku for weekend shits and giggles, the cosplay kids primp and pose for no reason but to be admired, and musicians play in arcades just to make people smile. fuck that, a brothers gotta eat, i'm going to start a revolution where we make our living by begging, screw graduating college and "çhoosing" your job for life. even the homeless here are respectable and they take their shoes off before entering their own carboard capsules in the underground catacombs of hiroshima station. i have never once been aproached for coin. try walking down swanston street in melbz and see how many times the same aboriginal woman asks you for $2 and then record how many words beginning with C she can attack you with before you get a chance to get away with the green walky man. i got shunted there once, a guy actually was throwing himself shoulder first at people walking toward him in order to... i dont know really. jerk face. none of that in japan no no... if i had the courage and the heart of a lion i would totally busk, but i am a weed. lawl.
November 30, 2008
today i slept on a park bench in tokyo and my friend petted a homeless lady`s cat.
I wish i remembered more about this draft, but unfortunately I only remember the first half. We slept in Yoyogi Park in Harajuku area. It is the most beautiful urban park i've ever seen.
I don't know why my friend petted a homeless lady's cat, and i dont know which friend.. haha sorry
I wish i remembered more about this draft, but unfortunately I only remember the first half. We slept in Yoyogi Park in Harajuku area. It is the most beautiful urban park i've ever seen.
I don't know why my friend petted a homeless lady's cat, and i dont know which friend.. haha sorry
November 9, 2008
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